My Trip to China~

Yo peeps, I'm back~ Finally~ The wonderful smell of HOME~ Miss you guys~ Grats on your victory~ 17-1, 5-0 =)

Wow, 7 days was fast, in an blink of an eye, it's over~ Well, this trip is a very relaxing one, no vigorous routine, just going to temples and various tourist attractions. Plenty of rest time and the schedule was not tight. To put in another light, it is freaking boring!!! Haha, but it's always an enjoyment to be able to spend time with your family=) Though the trip was boring, we made it fun=)


Day 1 - Well, it started off pretty badly for me, cose I was having running nose! Darn~ Woke up at 5.30am, reached the airport at 6.15am. Checked in luggage and went for breakfast at Burger King. Took the plane at 8 plus. Arrived at Xiamen at noon. Nothing much about the flight cose I was half-awake/half-asleep throughout the flight @.@

So we met up with the local tour guide(male) and the other 2 people that is with us for this trip. In total, there is only 6 of us for this trip. My family of 4 + the 2. Well, those 2 person are in their 50+, 60? Really nice people, only to be known as auntie uncle=). The tour guide was a nice guy too. So off we went to our 1st stop, a temple.

Okay, I didn't listen to the tour guide when he was explaining the history of the temple nor did I bother to remember the name of that temple. So, let's just skip this part okay=)?

But when we were about to leave, something epic happened. Our tour guide's phone rang, and his ringtone was GEE! I was like OMG~ Didn't have the courage to ask him then whether he was an SNSD fan. I was sure I when have my chance soon=)

Went to the hotel. Took a tube bath and slept. I had around 2 hours so I got plenty of time to bathe=) Spent around an hour in the bath. Shiok to the max...

We were suppose to gather at 6 at the hotel lobby but me and my sis went down early. So as we were chit-chatting with the tour guide, he mentioned that he is a very old-fashioned person. HERE CAME MY CHANCE. So I asked him why his ringtone was such a new song, somemore, a korean song, GEE~

HIS ANSWER - Cose it is loud enough.

I was like ... Actually, a lot of things in life is very simple. It is us that try to make it complicated. Why did I think that he was an SNSD fan in the 1st place? He only used GEE as his ringtone cose it is loud enough to be heard. Simple.

"Many things in life is very simple but we tend to make things complicated." Relationship for once, is complicated=)

Dinner and went to watch a performance before returning to the hotel to sleep. The performance was the traditional kind so~ boring~


Night time was nice. Me and my sister were sharing secrets. Her's were pretty normal. But when she heard mine, she was like OMG. Haha, shall not tell you the details=)


Day 2- Breakfast ( They only like have porridge with side dishes?!? Where's my bacon ham and omlette!!!). There was an egg station but the guy was only cooking fried egg while I wanted scrambled egg... So how do you say scrambled egg in chinese??? So I said in chinese, " I want the egg where you crack and anyhow cook." And tada!!! That was how I got my scrambled egg=)

Went to an island to tour. Once again, it was quite boring. Lunch came shortly cose we spent like 2.5 hours on that island that had nothing that is interesting! Cool thing is that island does not allow cars!

After lunch was... I can't remember...@.@

Day 3 - Hmmn, breakfast again. No scrambled egg this time. Spent 3 hours on the van to go to our next destination, ( ) yea, I don't know what's the name of the place >.<

Had lunch and went to visit the place where we are suppose to visit. It's like ancient houses. The interesting thing about this place was that it was a few hundred years old and still standing=) Plus, the whole structure of the house did not have a single nail. Only wood and rock/clay.

Went for foot massage. The massager don't dare to press to hard cose I'm underage... So not very enjoyable.

Drove to the hotel. Dinner. Went to to night market there. Bought a pair of sneakers, a basketball (for Eugene cose I lost his) and a pair of jeans.

Day 4 - Another 3 hour journey on the van. Stopped for lunch at a resturant selling tea products. FYI, every single meal they serve you tea in China! Tea everywhere, people drink tea like they drink water. I'm serious. Even the rice, is GREEN TEA RICE!

Reached our destination, Guanzhou. Took a trishaw ride around the place.
Stopped at a shop to try some snacks.

Next, went to a temple, again... Had some time so went to a shop and played chinese chess with the tour guide. Won the 1st round and sorta win the 2nd round cose we needed to go and I ate one of his impt piece then he sorta give up. Actually, I was not really bothered about winning or losing, just have fun.














" Life is not always about winning."

Had dinner and went to a 'water spraying' garden. It's like the one you see in Sentosa, they spray water then got animation on top. Nothing much.

Day 5- A historic house in the morning. Bought some crystal pigs there =) 2 bucks only=) Things in China is really cheap.

Went to a mini amusement park. me and sister went for the bumper ride. Freaking retarded since we are the only 2 that are driving... with 5,6 little kids looking at us...

Went to another temple.

Lunch.

Shopping in the afternoon.

Shopping again at night.

Shopping day~

Bought a school bag, school shoe and a vest! The vest where people wear on the outside during important events! Mine was 16 bucks! Haha, don't need to worry that much on what to wear for grad night =) Got the vest le~
Erm the picture is not the vest, just me on the streets=)












Day 6- 4 hours on the van, again. Came back to Xiamen. Had lunch and went to the hot spring.

Hot spring was quite fun. Seem like bathing in hot water everyday paid off. I was able to get into the super scorching hot spring! There is the less hot and the hotter one. The hotter one is really hot. Went around to try all the different kind of hot spring, peppermint, herbs and alot more that I can't remember. Didn't really like it cose it makes you sweat. Stuffy. Prefer cooling sensations=)














Enquiries- Was the hot spring seperate into male and female? Ans : No.

Enquiries- So what was everybody wearing? Ans: We all had towels.

Dinner.
Sat a boat/cruise that went around for 2 hours.

Went to a mountain peak to enjoy the night scenery. Was nice, and COLD~

Day 7 - Went to a cannon historic site. Once again, boring~














Shopping, bought nothing... Had steamboat for lunch. It was kinda nice BUT Super Oily. ! ! ! Then I thought of a person...

Went to the airport and BAOM! Here I am in Singapore=)
It was a nice break from my busy and hectic schedule. It also allowed me to look at the people in China and it allowed me to realise how fortunate I was. It gave me a new surge of determination to work harder and cherish my life=)

Sore throat>>> Fever soon. !!! NOOO~

Bye

Off to china in 12 hours.

Bye everybody.

Buffet Lunch Disaster~

Blank

My mind is in a blank now...

Firstly, I still got some undone holiday homework and I'm leaving 2morow. By the time I come back, I only got 2 days left. Damn. Of course, I can chiong finish everything in those 2 days if I really want to. At most take 8 hours? I don't really care about homework anymore anyway.

Secondly, I'm leaving 2morow and I don't even know where exactly of China I'm heading to!!! I didn't pack anything. Left everything to my mum. So I don't even know what clothes I have brought or what things I'm bringing there. Unprepared.

Thirdly... I say I wanna change for the better but I don't see any difference. Got to try harder.

7 days.
7 days to relax.
7 days to have fun.
7 days without floorball.
9 more days to school reopen.
Less than 300 days to O levels.
Is it too late now?

Dream

Life is so boring... Even when I have my computer right in front of me, I got nothing that I want to do. I'm like just wasting my life away... I really got nothing I want to do. Nothing at all... For once, my life feel so meaningless, without any aim or desire that I wanna fulfill...

***

Dreams. Dreams are always so nice, so perfect. When we dream of something, it is always the way we wanted it to be. Some dreams are easy to fulfill, but most are not. That why it will always remain as a dream, cose we will never be able to fulfill it.

Chasing dreams... we will always be one step behind it since we are in pursuit.
Fulfilling dreams... it only means we will get closer and closer to completing our dreams.

It is never easy to dare to dream of something that is seemingly impossible to fulfill. But what life is all about. Fulfilling dreams.

I'm sure SNSD did not ever dream of being who they are today when they were young. As they grew, they dared to dream of a future they never thought would ever happen, but it did.

Dream big. It is never easy to be the best, but dare to dream and work towards it. The working process is tedious and straining, but it is really up to one to endure and not give up.

Lionel Messi, Beyonce, Bill Gates. They are all human, same as all of us. We are all the same but why is it that they are so sucessful? Why they can be the best in their various aspect of their life but so many were unable to? Why were they able to be the 1 out of millions whom would like to be who they are today?

Dream BIG. Never underestimate yourself.

Today

Today was a rather good day for me. 6-6. Better than I could imagine.

But just wanna bring across to message to everybody, it is good to know that we are somewhere close to VS standard, BUT we got to understand that they had a few missing players (Judging from their numbers) and they definitely wasn't playing to their best yet. Maybe 80% or less WHILE we were close to ur 90%. I mean, when did we play so well? To be truthful, I think that was more or less what we are capable of only. We don't have anything left. That was all we got. If VS was to play better than what they did today, I honestly don't think we can hold them at 6-6.

All of their players are good, of a minimum standard at least, while we still got sereval players that still need to catch up. They got a steady bench and the reserves are capable of filling in whenever they are needed and yet keep the standard up. If we were to require a change in our line-up, there is definitely a certain drop in standard for the whole line.

All I got to say is this, we are close but not there yet. We still have plenty of room for improvement and right now I can only say that we are capable of entering the 2nd round. Top 4? Maybe, but still got some way to go. Going Top 4 means that we have to beat schools like Northland, VS, East View, Teck Whye, Bedok South, Coral, and if worst come to worst, Bukit Merah. For the 2nd round, if we want to qualify, we can only lose to one team. Are you confident that we can beat VS when we meet them in B div in 1 month or so?

***

Pizza hut was nice. Was rather decent meal at that price.

A new journey

Decided on something that I will not regret nor give up. I'm gonna work hard from now on.

Sounds very ordinary but this time I'm seriously gonna do it. Work hard on my studies, floorball, personality and practically, everything. Do things which I dreamt of doing. Dreaming of it is not enough, I shall go ahead and do it.

Time really files. It only fly past you when you do not cherish it. From now on, I shall make better use of my time and make sure I don't waste a single second anymore. It WILL be hard, no doubts about that but that shouldn't stop me from doing it.

"Something that is hard to achieve is something that is worth working for."

Changes will not come overnight. I just got to take it one step at a time then. Gradually but eventually. I'm starting RIGHT NOW and not wait till 2011 or wait till end of chinese new year but I'm starting now. Cose~ I got no time to waste and it doesn't really matter when I start does it? All that matters is that I START.

Really, what my parents say do make sense afterall. I was childish, immature. All I thought was to enjoy life. I'm so glad they did not give up on me or I would have long destroyed my own future. Even though I was rebellious and said nasty things to them but they never gave up on me. NEVER. They loved me. It's time I make amends. It's time I do what is right. I dream of my future, and I got to work towards it. Step by step, but I must not falter. Already deleted my warcraft and garena. That was my first step but I must not give up along the way. Talk (or writing about it) is cheap, actions speaks louder than words. No point thinking and saying so much. It is all down to doing it. So FULL-STOP.

~~~

O yea, SNSD won the Music Bank award with Oh~ SNSD jiang~ They derserve it anw. Oya, got the Hoot album=) Ty Seh Hian for helping me buy it =) Really love it. really got no idea why I love SNSD so much but they are a true source of inspiration FOR ME. So to people like Eugene or Jarryl, don't mistaken me for some idiot that is following k-pop cause it is the trend. I appreciate chinese music but SNSD serves as role models to me and motivates me to work hard. Yea?~

Went to read about this music bank event. Lots of good performance but I shall not waste time to watch it. Got to spend lesser time youtubing and more time doing more meaningful stuffs. Too much of anything is bad=)

~~~

Friendly with St Gabs. Honestly, found it rather easy, they posed not much of a trend but still learnt and spotted lots of mistake in my gameplay. Severe mistakes somemore... Didn't score any goals, wasn't very surprised. Mainly cose I'm not supplied with the passes in front of goal and more importantly is that it was my shooting. Could have netted a few if not for my poor marksmanship. The strength and accuracy was horribly wrong. Okay, maybe its my new blade but mainly it is me. Found myself making the play more than usual. Haha, normally I will leave that to Jarryl and Cren but since they are not around... I got to do it. Didn't do it well but not too bad I hope. So glad joshua is back in action=) Solid board passes and defending on the left side again=) Grats on your hat-trick josh! You derserve it totally. You worked hard for those goals!

At least this friendly let me know what areas I got to work on... And I got to cool down a little on court. Slightly too physical. Need to know when to get physical and when NOT to... >.<

VS game shall be a good guage for us. My prediction > lose by 4 or less. I'm so gonna play my best on monday!! Oya, high chance of going Kbox after the match on monday.

~~~

Shall promise to blog and update my blog more often from now ( since dota and youtube is gonna be greatly reduced )...

Yeah. A much needed break. Off to China in the early morning on 24th, friday. My last training is on thursday 23th. Any request for presents? Say now. Not too expensive ones >.<

***

I'm so tired. So tired. Really need a break badly. Need a break from everything. Just wanna relax and enjoy myself as I forget about everything here.

Fucking irresponsible I was. This was not the first time already. Got to wake up my idea. If I wanna lead, then I got to do it well. If not... I might as well not do it...

Thought I saw you, again. Guess I miss you too much...

^^

Got nothing to write about in particular. Just gonna put bits of bits of things to form a post.



Hmmn, first thing to come to my mind now is my new blade? Ok, they colour doesn't fit (I like it that way), and it's hard to use. Even though the blade was no different from my previous one, but this one somehow feels different... Problems should be with the shape and the smooth bottom of the blade. Fixed the shape to my 'style' already, though I can't seem to bend the pocket. The bottom part of the blade being too smooth... Got no idea how I'm gonna fix that but hope I can adapt asap.



Next>? Jessica got molested?

Got this picture from a link JY gave me. Not feeling angry or anything, nothing I can do anyway. Just feel a little disturbed that my 'princess' was touched... Anyway, she's the princess for the whole floorball team right! haha. Feeling pretty sad for Jessica cose Sm (her company) is disclaiming that there wasn't such a n incident. So she can't like seek justice? Too bad, just touching anyway. No big deal. Maybe she enjoyed it @.@ Nah, the guy is too old~

Next? Holiday hw? Done like 60% already? Left with english and some geo. Glad my mum made me start early... Now not so stress...

Erm, there is still some computer issues? Decided to stop dota end of tis/next week? Not sure when I wanna stop but definitely latest by end of next week.

Erm, just finished reading Wilson's book? City of Bones... Writer was Twilight's writer. Super nice book. Hoping to get the rest of the series from Wilson soon >.<>

Hope we will be going out 2morow. Feeling so damn bored at home nowdays. Anything is fine with me, just do something, not nothing at all.

Ok, that's it.

Time

Time.

Time is priceless cose we can't return to the past. What is over is over, there is no way we can turn back the clock and return to the past can we?

Just realised I wasted my morning again... Dota + Youtube, my whole day was gone again. Enjoyed myself but I find it very meaningless. To spend my whole holiday in front of the computer?

As the saying goes, " Your youth is the most priceless period in your life." So am I really going to spend it with my computer?

To think of it, there is actually so much things I can do if I really want to, instead of spending my whole day in front of this computer. In fact, my holiday is already halfway from being over. In less than 25 days, I will be a Sec 4 already. By then, my holiday will seriously be over.

Excessive of anything is bad. Gonna stop wasting away myself, time to buck up and make good use of the limited time that is left... Not only for this holiday, but for the rest of my life...

"Everybody have equal amount of time, yet people have different degree of achievement in their lives. They key to this, is how one make use of the time he got."

All the way!

I'm gonna train harder and harder

To become even better.

Chiong ah!


Really sucks to play badly cose of your weakness, when you already know you got to work on your weakness long ago...

Sucks even more when you fail to carry out what you have been training and doing...

Update

Haha, finally an update=) Decided to change my blogskin to a blogger skin cose a lot of people can't see my blog due to some problem which I dunno how to solve.Anyway, the blogger skin is simple and nice too=)

Had been a very busy yet fun 3 days for me.

Wednesday- Start of camp. Did relay instead of the usually endurance. Found it to be more effective cose everybody was giving their 110% cose they did not want to let down their other teammates. Found myself running harder than usually too >.<

Played 'whacko', got to know everbody's names and had lots of fun too. Played War game shortly after, proved to be lesser disatrous than I thought >.< Quite sure everybody had lot's of fun. After that, was handball in ISH. Fun too. But passing to the same few person, quite a handful was left out...

Lunch came shortly, and came the testimonial match... Only Isaac Lander Han Wei and Ian came for it so we split into 2 teams. I was on the alumni team! Can't recall much but was pretty fun I think=) Isaac and Lander both scored=)

Went to play basketball at the primary school site. Eugene camping and dunking >.< The ultimate play! Went to Bishan North to eat dinner and went to Eugene house. We tried to do a hidden cam on Eugene, acting emo and sian, trying to fool Eugene... Ended the hidden cam early cose Eugene looked really sad. A bit of Mahjong and Halo then chatted with Gene and Isaac. Isaac went home at 10? Then Gene and I continued to talk in his room cose the 3rd floor room was very dusty and I keep sneezing. Slept pretty well, didn't wake up at all!

Thursday- Woke up and realised that I didn't bring my toothbrush... Went to school did gym and then it was classroom games. Jessica FTW!!! She won! Hebe was 2nd, Joshua don't be too sad, afterall Yuri was up against Jessica=)

Eugene won the most handsome award. Prepared more games but there wasn't time for them. Had lunch and then it was time for friendly. Was not really very challenging cose the opponent's aren't that good. 7-3, 7-2. Scored 4, performance if I were to rated myself - Average performance. Could have done better I think. Haha, still remember bodying the guy until he fell over the boards >.<

Had dinner, and I really felt very warm in my heart for no reason... Maybe it was becose I felt that the team was closer than before? Not sure. Walked in the rain back to school and set up the Viva floorball.

Appreciate those that helped, those that didn't don't blame them anyway, if I were them I would also not help >.< proved to be a success, everybody had fun. Was pretty crazy with all the abusing of rules. Put ball in shirt, use 2 sticks, put ball in shoe. LOL, Isaac commentating was incredible! (Y). Totally got the atmosphere crazy.

Left to set up the race. Luckily Isaac told us to set it up early or it would have been worse. Took up more time than we expected. Really wanna thank Isaac for helping or I would have gave up... Of course Joshua, gene and Lander helped too=) Finally got 4 groups' racing course done after an hour+.

The race started shortly. Everybody was faster than I thought. Cren's group was like at the 3rd stop after 5 minutes!?! We haven even left the sports hall when 2 groups came to look for us for the clue... Race was over quite soon, quite sure everybody had fun.

Somebody asked me, "You spent 5 hours to plan this and 1 hour to set it up and yet the group took only around 35 minutes to finish it, don't you find it a waste of time?"

Haha, if everybody enjoyed it, then 35 minutes X 20 = it's 11 hours 45 minutes. My time was definitely well spent. I don't mind sacrificing a bit of my personal time if it can bring others joy and fun.

Mr han finished his speech and requested everybody to thank me and Joshua for the camp. That simple 'Thank You' was more than enough for me. Really. I would like to thank you guys for attending the camp as well=)

Bathed and slept.

Friday- Woke up, breakfast and came home. Watch Running man. If only I watched it before I plan the race!!! It was pretty nice and could haven gotten some of it's ideas and add it into the race but nvrm. Ate lunch and slept a while before going to CS.

The trials had A LOT of people. I was pretty relaxed since it's training for me. Make some friends and learnt alot from the players there as well. Trials ended soon enough. Congrats to Cren, Derek and Gene for getting into the team=) But Life is great, reality is harsh... This is only the 1st round but hope you guys can make it into the team! Eugene was outstanding if you ask me=)

Heard from the other players about Bukit Merah's standard. Conclusion: Technically and physically we can match them. If both teams play to their best, we will be on par, maybe slightly lousier but not there far apart BUT their fitness as for what I know from the rest of the players, is FREAKING GOOD. So they will be able to last at their best for a longer period of time, we will lose out then. So fitness is the key even though we still got to work on our technical skills and team play...

Subway as usual, but this time with Derek Gene and Cren but without Ryan and Joshua.

Went home and talk about floorball with Cren and Derek on the bus. Slept as soon as I got on the bed.

Today was freaking screwed. Set my alarm at 6.50 am and I woke up at 10... WTH. Too tired I guess.

K, that's all I got. Bye~

New Motto

My new motto for my life: Take it easy =)

5

Been a while since I last posted... It is not that I do not want to do inspirational posts or the long long 'interesting to read' stories but it is that I got no time for it. Floorball and the planning of the floorball camp is killing me already, even though I still spare some time for myself to play dota >.<

Had friendly with some JC bunch of friends and I actually scored 5 goals. New record for me =) Kinda happy for myself even though not much people realised that I actually scored 5 but to know it myself is enough. Still have plenty of areas that I got to work on, come Jan and Feb, APAC (hopefully) and B div is when all my hard work will br\e rewarded.

Gonna be off for holiday for a week, leaving on Christmas Eve. Really worried that my fitness and skill will drop like mad when I come back, but hopefully not... At least travelling abroad can give me some time to think through things and relax at the same time.

Ah, really hope everybody can appreciate and enjoy the camp, Josh and I put in quite a lot of effort in the planning and I hope it will be a success. There will bound to be some criticizes but at least I can tell myself, I did my best. Definitely not gonna plan another camp another time soon... It's tedious...

In an blink of an eye, it's gonna be December soon. Time really flies huh?

TaeYeon~

Haha, SNSD AGN... Gonna be a short post anw... Watched SNSD's Horror Factory. TaeYeon was pranked and yet in the midst of the chaos, she was able to stay strong and control her emotions.

Remarkable character=) Used to think that TaeYeon did nothing much as a leader for SNSD but she proven me wrong this time=) Maybe I can learn more from her of how to lead...

Must Watch

If you want to watch the best SNSD video clip available on Earth, this is the one... YOU MUST WATCH THIS!!! Or regret for your whole life. Watch even if you are not an SNSD fan...



Why am I an SNSD fan? Since young, I did not really believe in spending money or wasting time trying to get to know any idols. But SNSD is really different. They taught me so much... They may be my idols and at the same time, my role models...

They taught me that in order to fulfill my dreams, I must not give up no matter what.
They taught me that unity is power.
They taught me that even though the road may be long and tough, I got to hang in there.

Their first ever performance was in a high school. A stage with less than a 1000 audience.

Now? They stand on the world stage and with millions of viewers.

They started small, they worked to where they are today. They took nothing for granted, they deserve every single bit of it.

I do not like SNSD because they are pretty.
I do not like SNSD because they are hot.
I like SNSD because they really shown me the true meaning of determination and unity.

Plastic? If a person goes to plastic surgery, will he or she be as successful as snsd? No. It doesn't really matter whether they are plastic anot. It was their hard work that got them to where they are today.

Look, even when the crowd is not cheering and giving blank faces, they continued to give their best no matter what. If I were them, I would have long walked off but they didn't. They were determined to perform regardless whether the crowd appreciates it anot. Determination.

Look, Jessica was so tired till she collapsed once she was off the stage. She was determined not to spoil the performance and gave her best despite everything. She wasn't even able to walk after the performance.

The 9 of them must have cried more than any other groups in the k-pop industry. I was really touched when the 9 of them gathered and hugged on the stage. They did not talk much or enjoy the glory. They simply stood on stage and hugged, cried. They cried because all the hard work they have endured have finally been recognised... Even though we usually get to see the bright side of them, smiling and laughing, we have overlooked that they must have cried and sweated even more...

10 years, that was how long they have endured to get to where they stand today. The 9 of them have tasted more sweat and tears than any other groups. That is why right now it's Girl's Generation...

Unity. The power of 9... I was really touched by what Tiffany said after her mum died in a car accident last year.

"My mum may have left me earlier, but she gave me 8 sisters..."

SNSD never gave up, they stood as one, and was finally able to get to where they are today. When they were given the award, even other groups stood up and cheered. Some were even jumping because SNSD really deserve it, more than any other groups. They stood as one and have gone through so much together, through thick and thin.

So, SNSD really are my idols. This video only made me love them even more. Even though they will never ever know me, but I will always be there for them!!! SNSD Hwaiting!!!

If only our team can be like this, that is my only wish, my biggest wish. To be as close as real brothers, to work hard and become champions. If that is possible, maybe you can help me=)

Fate

Maybe it was all fated that we will meet again. I really can't believe that we will actually meet each other, face to face after 2 years... It seem like genie decided to grant my wish... I didn't really want to talk about this but then again, I shouldn't bottle it all up. So this was how it went...




I was really bored today. Really really bored. Finished watching hotshot and was surfing the net aimlessly. Really had nothing better to do. Felt like watching a movie, after flipping the newspaper, decided to watch the movie The Next Three Days... Got changed and left. Took the Mrt to AMK. But then, it was not an ordinary Mrt ride. At Yio Chu Kang station, that where it all happened... I was sitting on the seat and listening to music, Lucifer~, then when the train door opened, guess who walked in... U noe who~

I was totally shocked. Totally shocked. Could feel my heart beat so much faster and my palms got sweaty. That feeling I got is a mixture of excitement and fear. Excited to see her again but fearful of the much predicted outcome that she will dao me. I wasn't sure whether it was her anot. I have experienced it so many times. Thought I saw her but turn out otherwise. But this time it is for real. I can hardly believe it. She could have taken the train before or enter another cabin but she didn't.

She stepped into the cabin. My eyes were fixed on her. She was still very pretty, maybe even prettier than before. She was wearing a white shirt with short sleeves and a mini skirt... In other words, she like an angel~ Freaking hot angel somemore...

I was expecting her to look as if she doesn't recognise me and sit else where. If she did, I would take it as if I didn't know her as well. That would be fine with me anyway.

BUT, guess what... She actually came over and sat beside me!!!






S: "Hi, you are Darrell right?"







D: "Yea... Hi." My heart was pounding like crazy. I was like OMG!!!







S: "Waaa, it has been so long since we last met. Got miss me anot?"







D: " Yea, got missed you very badly~." Which was true... Gave her a smile =)







S: `Laughed and gave the LOL face.` Shall never forget that face~







D: "So where you going?"







S: "Watch movie."







D: "With frens ar?" Prepared for a disappointing answer from her.







S: "Alone la. Everybody busy... So sian."







DUMBFOUNDED. OMG, unbelievable. This was like a chance god have gave me~ I could hardly believe it~







D: "Me too! I'm watching alone too. Wanna watch together?" Now's my chance!!!







S: "Ok. I'm watching Harry Potter at J8. U ok with it?"







D: "NO problem." =) Even though I watch le XD







Then for the next 5 minutes or so we talk a bit about the past and a bit of k-pop stuff. Can't believe it, she actually likes SHINee too. Her favourite is Tae-min XD My favourite is HER XD




Before I know, we arrived in Bishan. We talked and talked as if we were both long lost friends and joked around, poking each other. Deep in heart, I was like thinking " Wonder what's she thinks of me..."

Quened up for the tickets together. As we were quening, we suddenly ran out of topics to talk about and what was left was an awarkard silence... I decided to get on and went on to talk about JongHyun having a girlfriend... Finally was our turn. Got a seats on the left side at the back. She wanted to treat me the tickets ( How can I let her!) but I ended up treating her XD Money worth spending=) She got the popcorns though...

We went in early and were talking. I decided to mention the 'incident'. Her reply was " Sry luh, my bad." From that moment onwards, I decided that I really like her. Really felt how blissful it is to have somebody you like right beside you... That kind of joy, can't be described in words... Sweetness in your heart ?

Movie started. Was pretty cold but when I asked her she said it was okay. Haha, didn't have a jacket to spare her anw... Realised I was looking her more than I was looking at the movie screen... Never really wanted the movie to end. I want the movie to last forever so that I can look at her forever...

Oya, the popcorn proved to be a big problem. As you know, I'm a popcorn maniac but didn't dare eat too much of the popcorn, afraid that there might be too little left for her. We shared drinks too!!! Maybe that's why the drink was sweeter~

Halfway through the middle of the movie, I found myself unconsciously leaning closer to her. She must have noticed it too. She actually laid her head on my shoulder!!! Faint! Faint! Faint! Could actually feel the smell her hair... I really felt that I was the most blessed guy on earth then...

"So she really likes me..."

After a while, she decided to lift her head. Felt a little sad but relieved at the same time. Relieved be'cose I no longer have any stress cose before that I dare not move XD At the part where the snake pop out, she gave a little shriek. Priceless expression. How should I put it? Cute + Frightened =)

This time I decided to take the initiative and went out to hold her hand. She didn't resist!!! Her hand was tender and smooth, AND was cold XD

The movie ended in the end and I had to let go of her hand, sadly. Out of the threatre we went and the both of us went to the toilet. I had to style my hair right? But the story did not end after the movie ended. We went to walk around J8. It seem like the both of didn't want this to end so quickly...

Somehow we ended up at the open area in J8, the one below the food court.

We talked a little but here comes the main point. As we talked, we moved closer and closer. We kissed. My first kiss...

The feeling was wet? But it felt really great. Totally awesome....

I never want to let the feeling go, never...

*

*

*

Gotcha=)

NEW SKIN!!!

You guys must be like FINALLY got new skin...

Jarryl will be like SNSD!?!

MY blog, my choice XD

Took me a while to get it done so appreciate!!!

Leave a tag ty =)

Now

Just finished hotshot... lol, seem like everybody is watching it too...

Was really very nice even though I'm watching it for the 2nd time. Learnt a lot of things that can be applied to floorball/sports. Even though some parts are very fake and unrealistic (like the dunks and mid-air action), but many of the theory in the show are true.

We see how Da Ying (Show Luo) evolved from a noob to a pro due to his passion and hard work and so on. We see how unity in a team is capable of bring them from being the lousiest team in the nation to becoming champions. Even though it is a story that was created by the director, much of the theory cannot be any true-er(If there is such a word)...

Quoted from W, " Practise is like homework, something that a sportsman must do." is one example. Jerry Yan/Dong Fan Xiang, was not a super talent but he was as good as one through the amount of hard work and practise that he had put in and having the 'never give up' attitude.

Attended Eugene's confirmation on saturday. Even though had to sit there for few hours, felt that it was worth it. Felt really happy for Eugene, being able to be confirmed as a follower for his own beliefs, but wasn't really convinced by religion and beliefs. I'm like Jarryl, I think it is impossible to prove that god exist but I don't rule out the possibility that god really exist so religion and stuffs, I'm neutral~ Ate mac's and sang a bit of K, was fun. Joke a lot and pool was kinda fun even though most of us were not really good at it.

Wow, this is one of the rare chances were some many of the 'clique' are together. Hope that there will be more of such chances in the future.

O ya, the quote on Cren's blog is I say one ar, I mean, anything wrong? We were comparing CS and CHS. Like we don't blame anybody when we concede a goal but in CS they do. Nothing much anyway, just chit-chatting...

Had a really sweet dream recently... Super sweet till I can't remember what it was about XD But I was smiling when I woke up =) Jessic~aH~~~

Damn it la, my chest is hurting. No really very severe but it will affect my training definitely. Can't do push-ups or any chest related exercises. Don't even know how I got the injury...

Okay, Jarryl and Joshua said my blog is dead, post are short and after getting to a conclusion, I 've decided to make my 2nd post for NAKED!!!!

Wait in anxiety XD LOL.

Crying

Feel like crying for no reason...

Maybe I do know the reason,

It is just that I don't want to face it.

I just want everything to be over...

SNSD Debut

SNSD during their 1st debut. Really miss their youthful looks and their powerful dance move. They look so much more energetic and lively in the past. The dance was powerful and the voices were so sweet~

They all looked very eager and gave their best for their 1st ever performance =) Hope that they can maintain their state of mind and continue to work hard and strive for the best. Hope arrogance doesn't get to them=) SNSD Hwaiting!!!

Chinese O level!!! I better go study now XD

Joke

Check this out...




Lol. SNSD got DAO-ed... Look at those zombie faces... LMAO... Thay are making SNSD look like little girls acting cute on stage...

They showed expression-less faces when SNSD was performing LIVE on stage. How epic can it get??? They look as if they are bored by SNSD's performance or something... DO you ppl know how many ppl in this world(me myself), would like to be in that freaking sit you are in and watching SNSD live?!?

Putting that aside, one thing is for sure. SNSD don't belong to Film Awards' stage. I mean, all the people there are actors and actresses that are mostly older than SNSD. Plus, even if they admire SNSD, they can't really shout it out or scream. All they can do is to watch, and they clapped at the end too. Since this was a formal event, they did what they should do. Enjoy and applaud.

They don't belong there. Not with all the actors and directors that know nothing about k-pop. They should be at places where their performance is appreciated and admired. At places where fans and fellow k-pop group appreciate their performance and acknowledge the amount of hardwork they have put in to acheive what they are today.

Point to be noted- We should all stay at places which we belong. If SNSD was on music bank/music core, their fans would have screamed and cheered. The MC's would welcome them. They will feel very comfortable there, their friends/fans are all there. They can walk backstage and meet their friends, run into friendly staff or even walk out and meet their fans. But at the Film Awards? Nah, they don't belong there at all. DAO-ed.

They may be the most popular group in k-pop, but not at the acting industry(except Yoona maybe)...

So, find where you belong to. Don't try to force yourself to stay at somewhere which you do not belong to, cose, it might be painful... Be at places where you belong to, and be appreciated.

******
Friendly was a great game IMO, learnt alot. Nites~

Busy

Even though it's holiday time, but remedials and training kept me really busy.

O level chinese is coming right round the corner but I'm not really very nervous. Can't really improve my chinese over a few days can I? But I'm still gonna try to prepare myself to the fullest for the chinese paper. Even though it might not be used for my L1R5, but it will make my O level certificate look nicer if I get an A =) Hwaiting!!!

Monday went past really fast. Had chinese remedial and went back home to spam 5 hours of SNSD's Hello Baby. Was really very interesting, and it allowed me to understand the various members' personality better, although I was not fully convinced that it was their TRUE personality. After all, the camera is ON XD But, the show is really funny, found myself smiling unconsciously as I was watching. Tiffany is REALLY pretty with her long hair and Jessica, as usual, HOT~

Had a pretty good training on tuesday. There wasn't much people for pt, so we could complete more of the gym programme.

There was no training on wednesday so after remedial, Hello Baby 5 hours again XD I was still watching Hello Baby and my mum came back from work. Then she kp-ed. At night, she and my dad kp-ed until I COULD NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I just kp-ed them back. PWNED them flat. Then I went back to my room and studied. Felt really comfortable after letting all my bottled up misery out, all at one go. Later at night, they didn't kp me back or anything. Assumed they 'gave up' on me or smth...

I mean, if a child simply listens to his parents and does whatever they tell him to do, isn't this kid a geek? Like those boy that follow his parents around, day in day out, follow his father fashion sense and wear high pants high socks? Study day to night just cause his parents want him to? In the future when he goes out to society, he will DIE! He doesn't have a thinking of his own, he can only listen to his parents and he knows nothing but to study. I know that in Singapore we have to have the 'GODLY' university certificate to get good job opportunities but is the 'GODLY' certificate all it matters? Would you want a child that has his own thinking or one that obeys his parents and know nothing? I know our parents does things for our benefits in mind but sometimes I really feel that my parents parenting is a BIG failure.

I often tell myself, when I grow up to be a dad, I must not be like my parents like that, doing 'these these these'... They told me not to be engross with computer/Internet but they themselves watch their TV programme 'AI' without fail everyday. They also watch it for a few hours. Then when I use com for leisure, they scold me. Contradictory.

Friendly 2morow, hope I cn recover from my flu to play 2morow. Nites~

Pretty

"Pretty from far, far from pretty..."

Haha, JY's quote. Really meaningful I think.

But there are some girls, the longer and closer you look at them, they look more and more beautiful.

One of which is JESSICA!

O level chinese in a week time, FB camp in a month's time. Holiday ends in 2 months. B div starts in 3 month or less. Gosh, time is SOOOO gonna fly past me again.

TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE, SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT, HOOT HOOT HOOT. Really nice song IMO! Addicted XD

Lol, spammed 4 hours of 'Hello Baby' yesterday...

Nites...

Ssnd K-pop Night at Singapore

Feeling slack..

Artistic....













Haha, Jie Ying having detention...













Trying to hit the pole with the ball...













Fish and Co Express~














AT WWW bathroom~













K box~














The usual 'zi-lian'...



















Tissue paper army!!!

Feeling extremely slack now. Not much work to do, just training and some random homework.

Ah, holiday is going to come soon, so is chinese O levels. Actually I'm not really very nervous but really hope to do well for it though. I want my O level certificate to be straight A's, if possible=) Saying that, I really need to get started on my revision if I wanna do well for next year.

I SHALL NOT WASTE THIS HOLIDAY!!!

Friendly 2morow but will be referee-ing it.

Damn, gonna fall sick soon. Was sweating yesterday night(didn't warm down) and slept air-con = GG!

SNSD's newly released 'Hoot' song appeals to me but not to many. I find it nice though. Trouble trouble trouble~

Just planned the outline of the floorball camp with gene and Joshua. Should be fun. Just hope that everybody can cooperate to make it easier for me and Joshua to run the programmes. Other than that, should have no problem=) Afterall, since we are the one planning, it will be very fun!

Piano is pretty difficult to learn but I'm not going to give up so soon=) Music isn't really my strength but I'm gonna try...

I really want to do well for 'O's next year... " Success is attainable, if consistent effort is put in..."

I'm gonna start working now. So I shall floorball, study, play for this holiday. Strictly keep electronic devices to a mininum=) Cose I think it is gonna screw-up my holiday if I play too much of it.

The future is in my hands now. I've grown up and have control of my own life now, unlike the past where my parents were deciding on most issues regarding my life. So if I screw up, it's entirely my fault and I got nobody to blame for. Seem like my life is more well managed by my parents than myself. Haha. But I can't rely on them anymore. I got to work by myself and learn to take care and manage my own life. Maybe I can start by scoring better for my studies...

Hwaiting!!!

Emotionally unstable...

Emotionally unstable. Nah, nothing of that sort. After all it's after exams, no stress or anything that is bothering me. Feeling pretty relaxed and having fun every day.

Result slip for EOY:

English- 65 (Improved 4 marks from mid-year)

Chinese- 65 (Improved by 16 marks from mid-year)

E math- 60 (Dropped by 18 marks...)

A math- 54 (Not much improvement...)

Geography- 82 (Was an easy paper though...)

Combined Humanities- 62 ( Dropped from A1 to B4... Both SS and history infer wrongly, 10 marks each from both papers...)

Biology- 55 ( Dropped by 5?)

Physics- 71 ( Miracle happened, improved by 24 marks. Improvement should be highest in school liao=) YEA~

Chemistry- 54 ( Still as bad...)

Now all my results out liao, compare all you want... So dun ask me about my results if you intend to compare, I don't give a heck about comparing results...

Overall, I would say that I'm utterly disappointed with my E math, Combined Humanities and Bio. Could have done MUCH better than this...

Languages and physics came as a surprise and Geo met my expectations. Physics was really a miracle, I knew I would improve from mid-year but an A2 really is a big jump. Hope I don't drop back to where I was last term...

Chem and A math was expected to do badly and I did... Luckily I didn't fail A math. Phew.

Overall comment on my results: Decent improvement on some subjects but some dropped unexpectedly. Those that I'm weak at are still very weak. Could have done better on the whole. Didn't really study consistently the whole year and only started one week before exams. Couldn't really expect much improvement. Glad that I passed all subjects and had improvement for some subjects.

What is over is over, can't really be sad cause I didn't work hard consistently and I got nobody to blame but myself. Now, I should really get serious and put my focus back on floorball. Friendly with NJC, scored 4 assist 1. Pretty decent if I were to comment on my own performance, given my shitty form in training for the last 2 weeks. Jarryl scored 4, Cren 2, Ryan and Jy 1 each, the other 2 I'm not sure. 12-2. Sorta feel sad for them cause it is really humiliating to lose to people younger than them but never give mercy on court!!!

Sorta got a new aim in training, thanks to Jarryl and Eugene. Was watching Jarryl play and realised that dribbling doesn't really need to have any complicated moves, just simple ball controlling. Was playing one-on-one with gene the other day after training, he just did the simple to-the-left and then spin me on the right side and he got past me. I was dumbfounded. Such a simple move and I was caught off guard. Then I tried to do those complicated moves and couldn't dribble past gene at all. That was when I realised dribbling is not that complicated, keep it simple=)

Just went down my block to train. Just love that place. It was the place where I mastered my dragshot, slapshot, bouncing ball (even though I've yet to master it) and some ball control. If I were to break down how I improve into percentage, it should be something like this.

20% watching others and learning,
5% from advices, mostly from Cren,
40% in school trainings,
5% after trainings,
25% under my block, 5% at home.

Gonna work hard for Nationals next year. Got my aim and I'm gonna work towards it. It's gonna be tough but I'm not going to give up=)

Gosh, I'm still rather stuck at PSP... I don't want to waste too much time on it~ Before I knew it, last week of school is arriving. Gosh, why does time past so quickly... Better make good use of this holiday to train hard and catch up on my studies... Still have so many things I wanna do this holiday...

Having lesser time and the 'feel' to blog nowdays. Just can't seem to get that 'feel' which I used to have which make me wanna blog.

Nites... "I will treat you like a kid if you are one." Not directed at Ryan aggressively=)

Back~

Wow.

That's the only word I can think of now. I was still dreaming and suddenly, BANG! EOY is over... One year just past like this and I have barely tasted Sec 3 life. Maybe it was too packed, or maybe I didn't make enough effort to make it a memorable one. But there is still some moments in Sec 3 that I will never forget... The dance we did on teacher's day, Combined Schools experience (even though it was not really very pleasant), me and Nigel in class (epic lame-ness), the fun outings we had (movies, and the recent WWW and kbox). Not much indeed, but I still have 2 months and slightly more to make up for the lost time.

Time really files past our lives doesn't it? One moment and it is all over, too late to regret for anything. Exams really ended very quickly to my delight but that only means that O levels are just next year. Sec 4 life will definitely not be pleasant, mug day and night... Not the kind of teenage hood I would want, but "fighting for a future worth fighting for..."

I pretty sure this holiday will be over before we know it. But this time I'm ready to make the best outta it. Spent my whole weekend playing psp and what did I get? Nothing. Really, electronic devices/computer games and freaking time consuming and meaningless. The time spent can be better used to do more meaningful stuff, yea?

There is so many things I want to do this holiday, can't let it slip out of my hands again. Next year there will be no breaks or holiday to play, the school will definitely make us study. So this is really the last chance we can enjoy our holiday...

Still remember trying to sing korean song at kbox... Major fail, but it made me realise something, we can never try to be somebody we are not. I listen to k-pop everyday and when it came to singing it, I couldn't sing it out. It wasn't my language and I couldn't sing Lucifer even though I hear the song for more than 50 times... But when it came to the chinese songs, it was pretty easy even though I barely hear that song.

When I go to the food court, I get korean cusine, listen k-pop, watch snsd, try to spend in korean but the truth is that I will never be korean. I will still be chinese, forever. That is me, no need for me to pretend to be somebody I never was. To be truthful, I'm proud to be a chinese, a singaporean. I mean 'Korean Wave' is spreading throughout Asia and the world, as teenagers we would most probably be more or less affected by it. But what is so good about being korean? They are short by nature, plastic, can't speak english, age very quickly when they are old (according to Nigel's theory), have a communist neighbour, try to speak english when they can't.

Okay, the girls and guys are pretty good looking but so? No big deal. I am who I am, not trying to change into somebody I'm not, but just simply SNSD crazy. lol.

Story, still working on it. Discussing the plot with Wilson but got the outline out. Should be able to produce the first chapter by friday night?

Already lost count who is reading my blog and who is not. Can't really be bothered anw, I'm starting to get more and more optimistic as I continue. Want to read then read, don't want to read then forget it. None of my business anyway. Maybe I will just close down this blog oneday and nobody will notice it either. ( Okay, I'm apparently grumbling that nobody is tagging so...)


Caption for the story:

A true test of friendship, trust and the power of unity.

2MOROW's Plan

We will meet at 10.30 At Pasir Ris Mrt.

Will sing at kbox from 11am to 2pm.

Then we shall proceed to meeting Crenshawn at www at 2.10pm.

enjoy www from 2.20 to 6.20. Yes! 4 hours is just enough.

Then have dinner from 6.40 to 7 plus then go home. Those that want can go Jarryl's house play bball.

Kbox: Lunch and 3 hours of singing cost 9+ per person

WWW: Entrance fee 15+....

Bring enough $/ swimming trunks/clothes/pants for going underwater...

We shall have fun!

Update

This gonna be short, I need to study...

Firstly, wednesday IS marking day but dunno whether there will be day off for us... If it is half-day, everything goes as planned... If it's a full day, then we have to think of something else...

Secondly, I'm going to write a short story, if you would like to be part of it, pls tag in the cbox '!!!'. It will be an interesting story I promise, exciting and engaging. I will stop adding new characters in after I start writing the story =) You wouldn't want to miss out being a main character in this story!

Ok, last 3 hours of mugging before I close my books permamently... Gonna chiong! Last lap already! Bye~

On wednesday

Meeting time: 11.30am at J8 Mac for Lunch

Wild Wild Wet: From 1pm to 6pm...

Dinner: 6 - 7pm

K-box/Karaoke: 7pm to 9pm

After 9: Go home together...

That is the plan on wednesday=) Since this wednesday is our school's marking day, there should be very little people at WWW=) So we can spam rides!!!

Remember to bring your swimming trunks and a pants which you plan to wear in water, cose you wouldn't want to walk around in your swimming trunks when everybody else is wearing pants=)

Ticket is $15.50. $10.50 if there is an NTUC union member BUT the member himself must be there to be entitled the discounted rate... Unless we ask our parents go la... and one NTUC member can have another 4 guest which will pay $10.50 as well... So IF ONE of our parents go with his or her NTUC card... We can save money la! Then we split the total cost over total ppl going, and it will be cheaper=)

And remember to bring clothes/towel/bathing accessories/money!/and whatever you need, don't need me tell you la... big boy already...

K-box I'm not sure how much but since there is so many ppl going, should not be too expensive...

Estimated cost for entire day(including meals): $30

Must come ar! See you guys at 11.30am at J8's mac!

Flash

Time really flash past our lives doesn't it? Was still getting stressed over exams a week before and 'flash', it's down to 2 papers.

Time really files, faster than we can imagine. We always thought that there is still time ahead, but before we realise it, it's over...

We only have less than 3 months before the start of next year to do whatever we want to do as a team, this is our last year... At this period last year, was feeling sad for the Sec 4s when we realised that they only had a few months left with us... now it's our turn. Time really flash past our lives, doesn't it?

There is so much I want to do with you guys... And I'm pretty sure we are drifting apart. We don't hang out after training like we did in the past, go for dinner after training. We have our own lives to lead, drifting further and further...

Our last 3 months together. 3 months... Seems pretty long to do whatever we want to do, and short even to flash past our lives...

I SWEAR if there were to be a floorball outing, I will go at all cost!!! I really don't want to regret not spending my last few months as a floorballer with the floorballers. If anybody was to ask me something about my secondary school life, I would definitely remember floorball, and most important of course, is the clique...

So here is a list of things I want to do after exams:

1) Go WWW with the clique!
2) Stay-over at Eugene's house
3) Go lan! All the people that used to play dota play together again! X8lr~ haha
4) Go SENTOSA with the clique. I don't know if any of you still remember this but we promised to go to Sentosa together... If any of you still remembers that of course, I do...
5) Have a super fun floorball camp. This one I can assure you I will do my best!
6) Play basketball with the clique and rewatch hot shot!
7) Do EVERYTHING With the clique...

I REALLY REALLY miss the old days when we spend half our day hanging out together, doing nothing much in particular but still had a lot of fun. Maybe sec 3 life is too busy till we can't spend time together... Hope that is the case than we shall be like before after EOY... can't wait...

TO everybody in the CLIQUE! I'm officially organising a 1 day ('remiscising' the past), on marking day. As for the events, I will let you know on the day itself=) More details after comfirmation=)

If you view yourself as a floorballer, and belong to the clique. PLS, don't disappoint me by not turning up. Regardless of whatever you got on that day, if you cherish this friendship we share, pls turn up.

I invited the clique to have breakfast and lunch before training recently but twice I was disapointed... Nobody came for the lunch and only jie ying came for breakfast. This wasn't how it was like in the past. In the past, the whole clique will come and we will have so much fun... But now? I eat alone...

Joshua and Eugene mentioned on their blogs that they miss the past where we used to be so close. I still believe we are but for now, we are too involved in our own lives. So pls turn up on wednesday morning, 8 am at J8 Mac. PLS don't let me down and let everybody down... This will be the first time we are going out after a long break. This really means a lot!

We will basically do whatever we used to do=) That is what we are doing for the whole day, more or less!

Nites...

Final Push

I know everybody is writing about stuff related to this. What 'last try' ah, 'give it all out', 'I live or I die', blablabla... I mean isn't it typical to write this kind of posts right before exams? Nothing wrong with it but really, when they were writing, did they really meant what they wrote?

For me, this is really the first time I'm getting serious about my studies... Really, I swear ever since I came into CHS I never once got serious about any exams... I always thought that studying was lifeless and just had to get over with it. I played played played. Even before the Sec 2 EOY, I even went to lan... The weekend right before the whole week of exams... Zai right? This year was worst, I didn't even complete the WS-es teacher's gave and hardly touch the revision practise papers that were given before exams, less say touch my TYS-es.

I just try to get over with everything, 'don't fail can already' that was my mindset. My results? Deteriorating... I couldn't study cose I didn't have the motivation to work... I kept creating 'imaginary' motivation for myself, until the point I think so much that I had a near mental breakdown, which was the period around August, where I got hysterical. It was Eugene that helped me get past the period, doing something more than he had to, taking the extra effort. Really apreciated even though I need not return back anymore...

Okay back to topic, 'imaginary' motivation. Yes, these 'imaginary' motivation was totally unable to motivate me at all. I felt aimless, nothing to work for until this monday.

"You study for nothing but yourself". The phrasing may not be exact but the meaning is there. A quote by my primary school teacher. It really brought me back to my primary school days and reminded me of my ability as a student. The missing 'motivation' that I was lacking, I found it back. Ty for reminding me, *mum*=)

Indeed, I study for nothing but myself. For my future, for myself, nobody else. Judging from my results, I'm failing my parents, my primary school teacher and most importantly, myself... It's really time for me to grow up... To study for myself=) My future lies in my hands... I'm not fighting against retaining or anything so I can really go into the exam hall this time with not stress, but just to prove to myself that I'm capable of much more. Improvement, that is my aim for EOY. No need for a jump to A1 for all subjects, but at least a grade better for all subjects.

This is really last minute but it is better than nothing, better than not studying at all, like I did in the past. It's gonna be a bit rush but I will try my best to salvage the situation.

" It is only when you realise you want to score well, that you actually had a lot things you can do to excel." I finally understand the theory of 'consistency'... Should have worked harder in the past...

Chapters to go: 56, 36 excluding A math and Bio.

Chapters completed: 26.

26 chapters in like 3 nights? Not impossible since I still got the weekends to do my 'final push'...

Actually studying ain't that difficult. If you force yourself to study for like 15 minutes or so, you will actually feel like studying. Just don't get distracted, or you will regret wasting precious time...

******

Fighting for our own beliefs
Believing in what we are fighting for

Fighting for our future
A future worth fighting for

Embrace the joy when you succeed
as joy embraces you

Results are more than numbers
Numbers that mean more than results

The recognition of your own ability
Having the ability to recognise it

Let this be a final push
OR BE PUSHED OVER...

Stress

I'm not stressed at all... Tell me why?

Choice

If you were to choose between this two, who would you want?

1) A freaking pretty girl that you freaking crazy over, but nothing more than that.

2) A kind hearted girl who encourage you when you are down and give you support

Who would you choose?

Neither.

Cose I will not choose the first one and I know I'm not good enough for the second...

******
" I shall study for nobody else but myself." I got it. Thks. I will and I must work hard.
Ty for the encourage ya?

Mugging progress:

Chapters to be revised: 80 + ??

Chapters completed: 0

Selfishness

* Seem like there is some misconception. This post is not to hate, maybe the tone is a bit harsh but ultimately i want to help. Hatred is never in my dictionary, I always forgive. But I really hope to help this friend of mine.

I have never seen anybody as selfish as you..

Yes, it's you.

Such a simple request and yet you rejected me right away. If it was anybody else, they would probably have given it to me straight away. If they did, I would probably consider not eating it since I would feel bad cose they are so nice to me. But you? You immediately said no and even if I asked a few more times, your stand is firm. 'No, that is my food, you want it go get it yourself.' If it was anybody else, if I asked for a few times they would have given it to me.

Then when you realised that I was pissed and you would probably lose this friend of yours, you then tried to redeem the situation and offered it to me. You offered the food to me at the end because you knew that you are going to offend me and that will cause me to dao you or something and you did not want that to happen that's why you decided to offer me the food.

It is through little actions that people notice good or bad things about a person. You probably did whatever you did in the past because you realise that you are in a disadvantage if you were to offend anybody and that will put you in a spot.

Some actions of yours shows your character. In fact, too many. It is just that people do not mind or bother but whatever you did during this incident really pissed me off.

Firstly, look around you. Can you name me a friend whom you can truly say is your best friend? Friends share and are willing to give without gain. But given your character, tell me, how many best friends you have now and in the past?

Secondly, you always put yourself first when it comes to any situation. Of course, all humans are self-centered but not to your extent. You do everything for your own benefit. Never once you shown me that you actually do stuff for other people without hoping for anything in return. Every action of yours has it agenda, you know it yourself.

Thirdly, you don't put yourself in people's shoes when you act or speak. If you do, then you would probably be able to not be so self-centered. Think about how others might feel when you do something or say something.

The world does not revolve around you, treat the people with a different attitude from now on, putting yourself in their shoes, treat the people around you unselfishly. You would find that you would soon have much more friends and closer friends than now.

All the best

Stuck

I'm currently stuck, whether to study anot... I know that there isn't much time left anyway, but still it's gonna make a significant difference.

Arguments for not studying:

- Less than a week left. Study or don't study makes no differences anw.

- Not like I'm gonna retain or smth. Screw up then screw up lor.

- Even if I don't study also won't screw up. Just can't get my desired results.

Arguments for studying:

- Cose it is my responsibility.

Yea, just one single reason to study and it easily defeats the rest of the arguments against it. Yea, I should study and less than 15 days IF I were to study hard for it. Is that so difficult?

God damn it. I really want to score well for EOY. I L1r5, 11! Not impossible right.

Aim:
Combined Humanities- A1
E math- A1
A math- A2
Geography- A2
Biology- A2
Chemistry- B3
Physics- B3
English- B3
Chinese- B4

But every time I get distracted. Just can't seem to study properly. Fuck. always promise myself to study but always fail to do so. What's wrong with me...

******
OMG. I'm a pervert!!!

Where are you>?

Really, life is all about finding more about yourself, finding your other-self...

Saturday

So I scored 2 and assist 2. Pretty decent since I was aiming for a 1 goal 2 assist for today's game...6-6, why are we still not playing to our standard? Really think that we got a lot to work on if we wanna aim for top 4. Long way to go…But then again, I should be seeing the team scoring as a whole and not count it as a personal achievement... Who cares...

Gaps in skills are getting greater and more obvious now... We are starting to be able to see the rankings quite obviously now...

Want to change captain? Be my guest. Store door can't lock, nothing I can do. The fans not off was not my idea. Gym wasn't me using last. All humans make mistakes. It's not entirely my job yea? Cause I'm always the last to leave the place so everything becomes my fault now. Then I rather be the first to leave so nothing becomes my fault. People can just change and leave as and when they want, I have to wait and ensure everything is kept then can leave. People want to leave then I don't need leave ah? We all got our own lives to live too. All people see is the mistakes committed, ever thought that the very person that is held responsible is actually the one that does almost everything? Sometimes even if I want to leave early I can't. Cose I have to wait for everybody to leave and keep everything and THEN I can leave... At least 7.30 then can leave. I'm a student like everybody else. I'm like a floorballer like everybody else. I'm just taking the extra intiative and commitment to do something more. Appreciate... Don't agree with this then just get a change. I'm cool with that. Good to put yourself in people's shoes at times. I'm at fault but not totally entirely my fault yea?

Went card shop with Derek and YH after training. lol. Was kinda fun since my deck was still able to win a few rounds against rather strong opponent. E-hero FTW!

Slept once I could. Too tired for anything. Really want to study but really not in the mood now... I'm feeling depressed for dunno what reasons... Had LOTS to write before I switch on the com but the 'feel' is gone. I'm very confused now. I have lost sight of my future. I really dunno what is happening to me but this is not good. Things aren't going as well as I had thought. Everything...