Bye ppl! Don't miss me too much=)
A journey to let myself be more calm, composed and collected=)
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Bleez
Decided to blog again since I wouldn't be able to do it anytime soon.
Hmmn, recall Cren saying that I'm too 'expressive' on court. Maybe I should change. Must learn to control myself even though I'm not really stirred either >.< cool=")">
Ready to fly
Oya, went queensway to get court shoes. Got one, went back home and my mum say she cant accept red shoes so went back to change. Change to another 127 bucks Asics! Woohoo! The top-up my dad pay!
Ready to fly
Confidence
Think I'm having some doubts in my life cose I'm pretty low on confidence right now. Not really targeted at floorball specifically but includes many other things in my life as well. Haha, guess it is just another of my teenage angst. Part and parcel of life I guess.
Life for 2011 is really busy for me and I really like it, being able to live every single second with a purpose in mind. Can’t imagine how boring my life would be after the finals of the B div end... Haha, I really believe that we can do it=) Probably be mugging everyday but it is for a greater cause... Have to work for my ‘future’.
8-0. Pretty good match since the opponent is not really some easy pushover. But for me, it was not really a good game for me. Didn’t really play very well. Well, Jarryl did great as usual. Steady as a rock.
Heard from the stands people murmuring that ‘CHS the players all from CS one.” Judging from how I played, I’m really not playing to how a CS school player should be playing. I look, ordinary. Ahhh, I really got lots of things that I need to improve on if I really want to be better.
Watched Jian Hong owning on court and it really hit me that there is such a vast difference between me and him even though we are actually playing together as forward partners. Burden, like what cren always say. Really feel inferior whenever I go for CS training. Really feel very lousy there. But I think it lies more on confidence than anything else.
Flying off 2morow. Really hope this trip is worthwhile. One week of lessons and $. But I will of course regret if I didn’t go so=)
I’m really very vexed right now, really want to get myself to be what I’m hoping to be like. Walking with a sense of purpose everyday, doing things my style regardless of what others might think, be more confident and organised.
“Dreams are often unrealistic and impossible but as long as we have enough courage and determination, we can make the impossible possible.”
“To be one that one dream of, attaining perfection.”
Oya, to whoever you are: Don’t talk to you in that tone until I’m a national player? I make sure that turns into reality one day. I’m SOOOOO gonna kick your ass on court. Wait and see.
TO Darrell: CONFIDENCE! CONFIDENCE! CONFIDENE! Don’t underestimate yourself Darrell! Think about how much you have been through! You are a winner, you are gifted. You have been through hell before! Nothing should ever knock you down! YOU CAN DO IT! You got it! It is in you already! Just need to be confident! Don’t let one or two obstacles stop you from reaching your goal! You got to trust yourself.
Phew, hope that it helps me to gain confidence=)
Life for 2011 is really busy for me and I really like it, being able to live every single second with a purpose in mind. Can’t imagine how boring my life would be after the finals of the B div end... Haha, I really believe that we can do it=) Probably be mugging everyday but it is for a greater cause... Have to work for my ‘future’.
8-0. Pretty good match since the opponent is not really some easy pushover. But for me, it was not really a good game for me. Didn’t really play very well. Well, Jarryl did great as usual. Steady as a rock.
Heard from the stands people murmuring that ‘CHS the players all from CS one.” Judging from how I played, I’m really not playing to how a CS school player should be playing. I look, ordinary. Ahhh, I really got lots of things that I need to improve on if I really want to be better.
Watched Jian Hong owning on court and it really hit me that there is such a vast difference between me and him even though we are actually playing together as forward partners. Burden, like what cren always say. Really feel inferior whenever I go for CS training. Really feel very lousy there. But I think it lies more on confidence than anything else.
Flying off 2morow. Really hope this trip is worthwhile. One week of lessons and $. But I will of course regret if I didn’t go so=)
I’m really very vexed right now, really want to get myself to be what I’m hoping to be like. Walking with a sense of purpose everyday, doing things my style regardless of what others might think, be more confident and organised.
“Dreams are often unrealistic and impossible but as long as we have enough courage and determination, we can make the impossible possible.”
“To be one that one dream of, attaining perfection.”
Oya, to whoever you are: Don’t talk to you in that tone until I’m a national player? I make sure that turns into reality one day. I’m SOOOOO gonna kick your ass on court. Wait and see.
TO Darrell: CONFIDENCE! CONFIDENCE! CONFIDENE! Don’t underestimate yourself Darrell! Think about how much you have been through! You are a winner, you are gifted. You have been through hell before! Nothing should ever knock you down! YOU CAN DO IT! You got it! It is in you already! Just need to be confident! Don’t let one or two obstacles stop you from reaching your goal! You got to trust yourself.
Phew, hope that it helps me to gain confidence=)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Me
Ahhh, really had enough of everything. Literally everything, from an electron to the whole world out there.
Sick and tired of being ( ), just wanna be myself. I'm not going to think about how others view me anymore, I'll just be myself. Shall just do things the way I want. Heck with the world. I'm just gonna be me.
Sick and tired of being ( ), just wanna be myself. I'm not going to think about how others view me anymore, I'll just be myself. Shall just do things the way I want. Heck with the world. I'm just gonna be me.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Moving on
Hmmn, 30-1. Looks good, sounds good, suppose to be very good.
Well, went to watch the video that was posted on youtube, realised that we could have done much better. Seriously, much much better. Watching the video also allowed me to pinpoint out some of my mistakes in the game. This time it was an easy opponent, but when we meet a strong foe... committing this tiny mistakes could cost a game.
I'm not really getting stressed over whether we can get Top 4 anymore. The standard of our game play is more or less fixed already. Maybe we can improve a little but most of the improvement should have came during nov/dec. Now there isn't much we can do either. If we are really good, really capable of winning Top 4, we will. The system in which the season is run, is very fair. The better team proceeds on and the weaker teams gets out. The best teams will never meet, until the reach they finals if they win every single game. So if VS wins every game and we win all of ours too, we will only meet them in the finals. The better team will be victorious, not much luck is involved in the season at all. The court is a place where skills and hard work speaks for itself...
So now what I'm hoping for isn't to enter every round hopeful that we meet weak teams but that we play to our best for every game. If we got it, we will get it.
To Joshua: Even though you didn't score goals, every goal our line scores is the effort of the whole line. So no goals is mine, or Jarryl's or Cren's. It is ours, the whole team's goal. We are one, we score as one, concede as one, win as one and lose as one. We are one team=)
I'm really hoping to step up my game play to the next level asap.
Hopefully APAC will be the boost that I need. Really want CHS FB to make history, and make ourselves proud. We trained hard for this, I hope we really do deserve it.
Well, went to watch the video that was posted on youtube, realised that we could have done much better. Seriously, much much better. Watching the video also allowed me to pinpoint out some of my mistakes in the game. This time it was an easy opponent, but when we meet a strong foe... committing this tiny mistakes could cost a game.
I'm not really getting stressed over whether we can get Top 4 anymore. The standard of our game play is more or less fixed already. Maybe we can improve a little but most of the improvement should have came during nov/dec. Now there isn't much we can do either. If we are really good, really capable of winning Top 4, we will. The system in which the season is run, is very fair. The better team proceeds on and the weaker teams gets out. The best teams will never meet, until the reach they finals if they win every single game. So if VS wins every game and we win all of ours too, we will only meet them in the finals. The better team will be victorious, not much luck is involved in the season at all. The court is a place where skills and hard work speaks for itself...
So now what I'm hoping for isn't to enter every round hopeful that we meet weak teams but that we play to our best for every game. If we got it, we will get it.
To Joshua: Even though you didn't score goals, every goal our line scores is the effort of the whole line. So no goals is mine, or Jarryl's or Cren's. It is ours, the whole team's goal. We are one, we score as one, concede as one, win as one and lose as one. We are one team=)
I'm really hoping to step up my game play to the next level asap.
Hopefully APAC will be the boost that I need. Really want CHS FB to make history, and make ourselves proud. We trained hard for this, I hope we really do deserve it.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
What now?
What to do now? I'm really lost. Why am I having so much doubts about the way i'm living my life right now?
Hope I'm making the right choice now. What kind of life do i really want? I can't even answer that question.
Haha, one thing is for sure. I want to trash Shu Qun 2morow. AND, I want my Top 4.
Hope I'm making the right choice now. What kind of life do i really want? I can't even answer that question.
Haha, one thing is for sure. I want to trash Shu Qun 2morow. AND, I want my Top 4.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Pleased
That's the only word I can think of right now. Pleased with my result, pleased with the result of my little hard work I had put in, pleased with myself for scoring an A1!
I was quite lucky this time. I know my own chinese standard pretty well and... Yea, was lucky this time. Still, I got to recognise the hard work I put in to achieve this A1. Yea~ My mum decided to give me 200 bucks to spend in Australia!!! Yahooooo~ (Googleeee!!!~)
I was happy for 5 seconds after I recieved the result slip then I settled down after that. You are going to hate me for saying this but, THIS IS ONLY ONE FRESKING SUBJECT> IT IS NOT LIKE YOU SCORED ALL A1 FOR ALL YOUR SUBJECTS RIGHT! SO CHILL PEOPLE! NO BIG DEAL, 88% OF THE COHORD SCORED As SO NOTHING THAT WE REALLY COULD BE VERY PROUD OF. PLUS, O LEVEL IS LESS THAN 300 DAYS AWAY SO IF YOU WANNA GET A1s FOR THE OTHER SUBJECTS, FORGET ABOUT THIS A1 FOR THIS *1* PIECE OF PAPER AND WORK HARD ON THE OTHER SUBJECTS! Haha, sorry for ranting. hehe
Erm, right now my priority is floorball. APAC and B div is just round the corner and after this 2 competitions are over, other than Div 1, I got not much floorball action left anyway. Will shift my priorities back to studies then. NOW? Floorball.
Still struggling to believe that I'm actually talented in floorball. Just can't believe that is the truth. I feel average~ Arrgh, this is getting retarded. "Never underestimate yourself." That was what I said and NOW? I'm underestimating myself... Gosh, what's wrong with me...
BM match is after CNY. Haha, like Eugene said, left the big showdown after CNY. Will be awaiting it. Actually, if you ask me honestly, I would rather play against powerhouse like VS and BM in B div. Cose if we really win them, then it is really skill that got us the Top 4, not luck. We can do it people. I don't care now, whatever school that is in our way to Top 4, we are going to beat them. Yea. BRING IT ON! CHS is waiting right here for you...
I was quite lucky this time. I know my own chinese standard pretty well and... Yea, was lucky this time. Still, I got to recognise the hard work I put in to achieve this A1. Yea~ My mum decided to give me 200 bucks to spend in Australia!!! Yahooooo~ (Googleeee!!!~)
I was happy for 5 seconds after I recieved the result slip then I settled down after that. You are going to hate me for saying this but, THIS IS ONLY ONE FRESKING SUBJECT> IT IS NOT LIKE YOU SCORED ALL A1 FOR ALL YOUR SUBJECTS RIGHT! SO CHILL PEOPLE! NO BIG DEAL, 88% OF THE COHORD SCORED As SO NOTHING THAT WE REALLY COULD BE VERY PROUD OF. PLUS, O LEVEL IS LESS THAN 300 DAYS AWAY SO IF YOU WANNA GET A1s FOR THE OTHER SUBJECTS, FORGET ABOUT THIS A1 FOR THIS *1* PIECE OF PAPER AND WORK HARD ON THE OTHER SUBJECTS! Haha, sorry for ranting. hehe
Erm, right now my priority is floorball. APAC and B div is just round the corner and after this 2 competitions are over, other than Div 1, I got not much floorball action left anyway. Will shift my priorities back to studies then. NOW? Floorball.
Still struggling to believe that I'm actually talented in floorball. Just can't believe that is the truth. I feel average~ Arrgh, this is getting retarded. "Never underestimate yourself." That was what I said and NOW? I'm underestimating myself... Gosh, what's wrong with me...
BM match is after CNY. Haha, like Eugene said, left the big showdown after CNY. Will be awaiting it. Actually, if you ask me honestly, I would rather play against powerhouse like VS and BM in B div. Cose if we really win them, then it is really skill that got us the Top 4, not luck. We can do it people. I don't care now, whatever school that is in our way to Top 4, we are going to beat them. Yea. BRING IT ON! CHS is waiting right here for you...
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Shadow
I keep visualising myself playing floorball at my best. But that person that is playing is not me, it is always somebody else, somebody that I admire for his skills (this person change over time).
I'm like always hiding behind another person's shadow, unsure of my own skills.
I should be myself, play like how I always play, MY PLAYING STYLE but I can't seem to believe myself that I'm actually good enough. I always think that I'm not good enough yet.
What am I good at anw? That is the question I've been asking myself.
To break my limit, that is to discover what kind of player I am. What's my strength and weakness, I must know.
To be the player which I visualise in my dreams
I'm like always hiding behind another person's shadow, unsure of my own skills.
I should be myself, play like how I always play, MY PLAYING STYLE but I can't seem to believe myself that I'm actually good enough. I always think that I'm not good enough yet.
What am I good at anw? That is the question I've been asking myself.
To break my limit, that is to discover what kind of player I am. What's my strength and weakness, I must know.
To be the player which I visualise in my dreams
Thursday, January 6, 2011
2011
Wow. Just 3 days. 3 days was all it took for me to clearly understand what my 2011 life is gonna be like.
Erm, 5 training a week. Sunday and Monday I'm floorball-free.
Remedial every single day.
Tons of homework from all subjects.
Gonna be off for APAC on the 25th to 31st, missing 1 week of school.
B div coming really soon, pressure and stress is building up.
January will be the busiest period for 2011. 2 competitions coming up at around the same time and prelim 1 in feb, side by side with B div.
Just 2 trainings and I'm on the brink of collapsing already. I don't know how long I can last before I'm outta gas but I ain't gonna give up just yet.
I really believe that " To be tired physically is a joy, to be tired mentally is weak." Even though I'm really worn-out, I'm feeling great, cose I know by doing so I'm making full use of my time and energy. The hardest thing though, is getting up from bed in the morning. I know I have to get on with life, get on with the lessons in school, remedial after school and training in the evening but I just can't bring myself out of bed. Tired, lack of sleep, lack of rest. Sleeping will solve it all but I can't afford to just lie there. I got a life to manage. It might be a busy and hectic one but I love it. I say FML but deep inside me, I knew that I'm doing the right thing.
Not everybody has so many commitments to attend. To be busy and living my life to its fullest, it is a pleasure for me. It may be hard, but I'm sure it's worthwhile.
CS training yesterday was hell. PT. Gosh, I slacked and now I'm feeling really bad about it. "If you want to succeed, you got to take the pain. No pain, no gain." Yea. If I can't endure the pain, I will never be able to succeed. You think Usain Bolt, Messi and SNSD all happily rise to where they are today>? Hard work and tons of pain and endurance brought them to where they are today. Snsd sleep like 3 to 4 hours a day. I'm sleeping so much more than them. If I want to succeed and be like them, I got to work as hard as they do.
2011, it may be a tough year but it will be a good and meaningful one.
Didn't play well today, spotted my flaws and got to work on it asap. Getting selected for APAC is my honour and I got to give it my best.
DARRELL, ALL THE WAY!
***
I'm crying cose I can't have you~
Erm, 5 training a week. Sunday and Monday I'm floorball-free.
Remedial every single day.
Tons of homework from all subjects.
Gonna be off for APAC on the 25th to 31st, missing 1 week of school.
B div coming really soon, pressure and stress is building up.
January will be the busiest period for 2011. 2 competitions coming up at around the same time and prelim 1 in feb, side by side with B div.
Just 2 trainings and I'm on the brink of collapsing already. I don't know how long I can last before I'm outta gas but I ain't gonna give up just yet.
I really believe that " To be tired physically is a joy, to be tired mentally is weak." Even though I'm really worn-out, I'm feeling great, cose I know by doing so I'm making full use of my time and energy. The hardest thing though, is getting up from bed in the morning. I know I have to get on with life, get on with the lessons in school, remedial after school and training in the evening but I just can't bring myself out of bed. Tired, lack of sleep, lack of rest. Sleeping will solve it all but I can't afford to just lie there. I got a life to manage. It might be a busy and hectic one but I love it. I say FML but deep inside me, I knew that I'm doing the right thing.
Not everybody has so many commitments to attend. To be busy and living my life to its fullest, it is a pleasure for me. It may be hard, but I'm sure it's worthwhile.
CS training yesterday was hell. PT. Gosh, I slacked and now I'm feeling really bad about it. "If you want to succeed, you got to take the pain. No pain, no gain." Yea. If I can't endure the pain, I will never be able to succeed. You think Usain Bolt, Messi and SNSD all happily rise to where they are today>? Hard work and tons of pain and endurance brought them to where they are today. Snsd sleep like 3 to 4 hours a day. I'm sleeping so much more than them. If I want to succeed and be like them, I got to work as hard as they do.
2011, it may be a tough year but it will be a good and meaningful one.
Didn't play well today, spotted my flaws and got to work on it asap. Getting selected for APAC is my honour and I got to give it my best.
DARRELL, ALL THE WAY!
***
I'm crying cose I can't have you~
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Happy New Year~
Happy New Year~ A bit late but still Happy New Year~~~
Haha, yesterday was pretty fun for me. Met up with my primary school friends=) 4 of us decided to meet earlier for a movie. TRON... Haha, a bit old but haven watch yet so... Was cool, but the ending is stupid. Good guys always wins. Like the gears. Boomerang~
Erm, then we travelled to Bishan after the movie. Ate macs myself, the other 3 wanted to save their stomach for the bbq. Went NTUC to get food. Disastrous >.<>.<
So chit-chat and eat. My primary school form teacher finally came. Well, ate and talked.
Just joke around, take pictures and she left early cose she got something on...
We loitered till 9.30 and all of us left.
Was fun=) Always nice to meet up with old friends once in a while~ It was awkward at first, still very awkward at the end but much lesser. Not as close as before, but not too bad. Was fun to get to know what is going on in each other's lives.
Shocking secrets, but more or less expected.
***
Its a new year~ School is gonna start 2morow=( Life goes on still. At least I'm looking forward to meeting up with my classmates=) Janurary, hopefully I can go APAC, will be looking forward to that.
Feburary, B div. Haha, will be looking forward to it. Definitely gonna be an interesting year for CHS B div. Either making history or nothing. I will definitely make sure I'm ready. At least, I can promise that.
***
You make my heart~beat.
ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Just realised how far we are apart, how distant we are. We got nothing in common
Haha, yesterday was pretty fun for me. Met up with my primary school friends=) 4 of us decided to meet earlier for a movie. TRON... Haha, a bit old but haven watch yet so... Was cool, but the ending is stupid. Good guys always wins. Like the gears. Boomerang~
Erm, then we travelled to Bishan after the movie. Ate macs myself, the other 3 wanted to save their stomach for the bbq. Went NTUC to get food. Disastrous >.<>.<
So chit-chat and eat. My primary school form teacher finally came. Well, ate and talked.
Just joke around, take pictures and she left early cose she got something on...
We loitered till 9.30 and all of us left.
Was fun=) Always nice to meet up with old friends once in a while~ It was awkward at first, still very awkward at the end but much lesser. Not as close as before, but not too bad. Was fun to get to know what is going on in each other's lives.
Shocking secrets, but more or less expected.
***
Its a new year~ School is gonna start 2morow=( Life goes on still. At least I'm looking forward to meeting up with my classmates=) Janurary, hopefully I can go APAC, will be looking forward to that.
Feburary, B div. Haha, will be looking forward to it. Definitely gonna be an interesting year for CHS B div. Either making history or nothing. I will definitely make sure I'm ready. At least, I can promise that.
***
You make my heart~beat.
ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Just realised how far we are apart, how distant we are. We got nothing in common
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