HEY, CHECK OUT MY NEW BLOG! www.darrell21.tumblr.com
Relink ty!
Erm, just wanna try tumblr since it looks more fun than blogger. Will still be posting regularly so do visit the new blog!Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
!!!
I'm under immense stress from my life! So gonna break down.
Stress over? I also dunno.
Hmmn, 7-1. Decent scoreline, scored 1. Okay, just to clarify, I really did touch the ball but it did not go the way I intended it to go only. In other words, I missed the ball totally but it still went in the direction of the goal and the keeper fumbled and TADA, that was how the goal was scored.
Hmmn, just have to beat Bedok Town 2 days from now to top the group. VS, BS, Northbrooks. Can't believe everything is laid right in front of us, the path to Top 4 is right in front of our eyes. The path that will lead us to what we have been longing for, Top 4. Everything is set in place now. All that is left is for us to win the games that we need to win. Simple and easy. Top 4 is finally within our grasp, not a dream anymore.
Regardless of how much i want to get Top 4, there is still a little struggle in me cose... I know once the season is over the few of us might not be as close as we are now. Or will we not? Anyway, the celebration when we get Top 4 is so short. Rather it be like now...
Stress over? I also dunno.
Hmmn, 7-1. Decent scoreline, scored 1. Okay, just to clarify, I really did touch the ball but it did not go the way I intended it to go only. In other words, I missed the ball totally but it still went in the direction of the goal and the keeper fumbled and TADA, that was how the goal was scored.
Hmmn, just have to beat Bedok Town 2 days from now to top the group. VS, BS, Northbrooks. Can't believe everything is laid right in front of us, the path to Top 4 is right in front of our eyes. The path that will lead us to what we have been longing for, Top 4. Everything is set in place now. All that is left is for us to win the games that we need to win. Simple and easy. Top 4 is finally within our grasp, not a dream anymore.
Regardless of how much i want to get Top 4, there is still a little struggle in me cose... I know once the season is over the few of us might not be as close as we are now. Or will we not? Anyway, the celebration when we get Top 4 is so short. Rather it be like now...
But
But when I decided to send you a message, I changed my mind. Cose no matter how much I try to convince myself, I know it is impossible between us.
When I was about to land my hands on the keyboard to write something in the message, I could not think of anything to write, cose... we got really nothing in common.
Time to stop dreaming... haiz
When I was about to land my hands on the keyboard to write something in the message, I could not think of anything to write, cose... we got really nothing in common.
Time to stop dreaming... haiz
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Giving up
Sometimes it is just so easy to give up and let it all go but when we look back, we realised that we should have hang on.
So darn stressed up right now.
I can just think that prelim 1 is just a short 45min test and not mug but I know this results might be important for dsa.
Haiz, already coming to the end of the weekend and I can't even decide whether I want to study anot. Worse still, whether I can study anot... Just can't seem to concentrate when I sit down and just can seem to do any work.
Sometimes, I seriously hate myself.
Feel like crying now. Maybe I will. Think I will, just to relieve stress.
FML.
So darn stressed up right now.
I can just think that prelim 1 is just a short 45min test and not mug but I know this results might be important for dsa.
Haiz, already coming to the end of the weekend and I can't even decide whether I want to study anot. Worse still, whether I can study anot... Just can't seem to concentrate when I sit down and just can seem to do any work.
Sometimes, I seriously hate myself.
Feel like crying now. Maybe I will. Think I will, just to relieve stress.
FML.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Me
Sometimes I really find myself to be someone I have yet to understand very well. Inside my mind is just like a maze, one that I've yet to solve. At many points in my life, I have surprised myself by doing something that I've never dreamt that I could do. Alternatively, I find myself unable to certain stuffs no matter how hard I try.
It really makes me wonder what kind of being I am. What things that lie in me have I not found out yet? That is why I like saying ' Never underestimate yourself', because too many times I've proven myself wrong.
And many times I do not understand myself, could not understand why I'm feeling emotions that I could not even comprehend. For example, everytime I watch certain k-pop MVs or related programme, it will get be all stirred up just by imagining the competitiveness that is present between all the idol group in korea. There just seem to be a burning fire inside me that will ignite and get me all fired up just to think of all the hard work those groups put in just to make their group become even better, become even more successful. I really don't know how to explain it in words but that is the kind of feeling I get sometimes.
I always thought I knew inside out what kind of person I am but I'm wrong I guess cose I don't think I know myself well enough yet.
Haiz East View 2morow. This B div will be a very memorable one for me. Just hope that this season will be one that is worth remembering, one that ends in victory. Cose I don't want to have any regrets in the future.
It really makes me wonder what kind of being I am. What things that lie in me have I not found out yet? That is why I like saying ' Never underestimate yourself', because too many times I've proven myself wrong.
And many times I do not understand myself, could not understand why I'm feeling emotions that I could not even comprehend. For example, everytime I watch certain k-pop MVs or related programme, it will get be all stirred up just by imagining the competitiveness that is present between all the idol group in korea. There just seem to be a burning fire inside me that will ignite and get me all fired up just to think of all the hard work those groups put in just to make their group become even better, become even more successful. I really don't know how to explain it in words but that is the kind of feeling I get sometimes.
I always thought I knew inside out what kind of person I am but I'm wrong I guess cose I don't think I know myself well enough yet.
Haiz East View 2morow. This B div will be a very memorable one for me. Just hope that this season will be one that is worth remembering, one that ends in victory. Cose I don't want to have any regrets in the future.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Unprepared
2011 has been a really tough one for me, so many things have happened in this short 1 and half months. Some many things out there for me to realize, so many things that I got to accept regardless of what.
It did seem to me that I have learnt an invaluable lesson in APAC. It got me to realise that I'm not as good as I thought I was. Maybe I was better than many in the past but reality is harsh, now's the other way round. I just got to accept humbly that I'm no longer THAT good. I didn't deprove but its just that the rest are improving much faster than I am. I used to think that all the Div 1 games, CS trainings and my personal trainings on my own would be more than enough to put me above the rest but it apparently wasn't true. All this thoughts that I was BETTER made me lazy and I slacked off. I did not train on my own as I used to do and I did not take all the trainings as seriously as I did before plainly because I thought I was superior. But now facts have changed and it is no longer a matter of confidence in my skills or anything, it is just that I got nothing to show at all. It is not that I could show my skills because I'm lacking in confidence, it is because I got nothing in my pocket at all.
Humble. This is a word that I've learnt, a word which I now fully understand what it means. If an athlete isn't humble enough, he will not be able to learn as much as he use to.
Was chatting with Yuha yesterday when the 4 of us went to watch the conference games. He was telling us why the Finish were all so damn good in floorball and the conclusion was: Hard work. All the players trained since young and all train very hard to achieve the skill they have. There is no shortcut to success. No champion is born overnight.
“The secret behind success is hard work.” This is the phrase that I’ve learnt in the past 1 and half months. It’s time I learn to be humble and work towards my goals. It is quite distinct to me that I’m improving at a slower rate as compared to the past. No room for slacking, no room for arrogance. It’s time I push myself down all the way down to the bottom and start from scratch. Train like how I train in the past, learning and picking up skills from every player that I see. Train on my own and try to decipher the theory behind his technique. Haha, it really makes me laugh at how I used to train… But I guess it did work pretty well for me.
Time to forget that I’m a CS player, that I went to APAC, that I used to be the MVP. Back to being a floorballer with no recognitions or achievements. Guess I can learn better since I will not look down on any players and therefore allow me to absorb as much as I can from him=) I used to take Ryan’s comments offensively and take it that he is trying to put me down but I no longer take it the same way anymore. Now I just listen and absorb what he got to say and try to improvise on what he thinks I’m weak at. Even though it is really hard to take his comments as all his comments will just come straight in the face without a trace of lenience, I guess I just have to accept them. Sometimes it is good to learn to accept reality even though it’s harsh.
B div currently ongoing. No chance from errors. Can’t be a ‘burden’ to the team like cren always used to say… he still says it now though. Everybody worked hard for this and I really want it to end in victory. If we qualify for Top 8, which we will, either way getting 1st or 2nd in the group, we will still meet either BM or VS. But getting 1st in the group will allow us to get Top 4 easier of course. Getting Top 4 is really something that I want badly.
Prelim 1 is freaking screwed. Totally didn’t study during this weekend. I can either: Decide that I’m really screwed and there is no point in studying OR try my best not to screw up so badly. Guess I will take the 2nd option… Really want to do better in my studies but I guess the past 1 and half months didn’t really allow me much time to mug properly.
Just got to accept life and keep pushing myself. Top 4 is my utmost priority now but that doesn’t even me a reason to neglect my studies. Guess I just have to accept the fact that I’m going to do really badly for Prelim 1 before it even starts.
Used to have 4 dreams for my future but I guess I will just reduce to 2 now. Realize that it is almost impossible to fulfill all 4 though I really want to. Got to be more realistic.
Hwaiting Darrell!
It did seem to me that I have learnt an invaluable lesson in APAC. It got me to realise that I'm not as good as I thought I was. Maybe I was better than many in the past but reality is harsh, now's the other way round. I just got to accept humbly that I'm no longer THAT good. I didn't deprove but its just that the rest are improving much faster than I am. I used to think that all the Div 1 games, CS trainings and my personal trainings on my own would be more than enough to put me above the rest but it apparently wasn't true. All this thoughts that I was BETTER made me lazy and I slacked off. I did not train on my own as I used to do and I did not take all the trainings as seriously as I did before plainly because I thought I was superior. But now facts have changed and it is no longer a matter of confidence in my skills or anything, it is just that I got nothing to show at all. It is not that I could show my skills because I'm lacking in confidence, it is because I got nothing in my pocket at all.
Humble. This is a word that I've learnt, a word which I now fully understand what it means. If an athlete isn't humble enough, he will not be able to learn as much as he use to.
Was chatting with Yuha yesterday when the 4 of us went to watch the conference games. He was telling us why the Finish were all so damn good in floorball and the conclusion was: Hard work. All the players trained since young and all train very hard to achieve the skill they have. There is no shortcut to success. No champion is born overnight.
“The secret behind success is hard work.” This is the phrase that I’ve learnt in the past 1 and half months. It’s time I learn to be humble and work towards my goals. It is quite distinct to me that I’m improving at a slower rate as compared to the past. No room for slacking, no room for arrogance. It’s time I push myself down all the way down to the bottom and start from scratch. Train like how I train in the past, learning and picking up skills from every player that I see. Train on my own and try to decipher the theory behind his technique. Haha, it really makes me laugh at how I used to train… But I guess it did work pretty well for me.
Time to forget that I’m a CS player, that I went to APAC, that I used to be the MVP. Back to being a floorballer with no recognitions or achievements. Guess I can learn better since I will not look down on any players and therefore allow me to absorb as much as I can from him=) I used to take Ryan’s comments offensively and take it that he is trying to put me down but I no longer take it the same way anymore. Now I just listen and absorb what he got to say and try to improvise on what he thinks I’m weak at. Even though it is really hard to take his comments as all his comments will just come straight in the face without a trace of lenience, I guess I just have to accept them. Sometimes it is good to learn to accept reality even though it’s harsh.
B div currently ongoing. No chance from errors. Can’t be a ‘burden’ to the team like cren always used to say… he still says it now though. Everybody worked hard for this and I really want it to end in victory. If we qualify for Top 8, which we will, either way getting 1st or 2nd in the group, we will still meet either BM or VS. But getting 1st in the group will allow us to get Top 4 easier of course. Getting Top 4 is really something that I want badly.
Prelim 1 is freaking screwed. Totally didn’t study during this weekend. I can either: Decide that I’m really screwed and there is no point in studying OR try my best not to screw up so badly. Guess I will take the 2nd option… Really want to do better in my studies but I guess the past 1 and half months didn’t really allow me much time to mug properly.
Just got to accept life and keep pushing myself. Top 4 is my utmost priority now but that doesn’t even me a reason to neglect my studies. Guess I just have to accept the fact that I’m going to do really badly for Prelim 1 before it even starts.
Used to have 4 dreams for my future but I guess I will just reduce to 2 now. Realize that it is almost impossible to fulfill all 4 though I really want to. Got to be more realistic.
Hwaiting Darrell!
Friday, February 4, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Sick
Really sucks to be sick right before cny... Haiz, and had to miss training.
Will post about Perth if i'm free and have the mood to do so.
Will post about Perth if i'm free and have the mood to do so.
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