Being nicer to Ryan...

I know this is a very sensitive topic and might cause some arguments but I still have to discuss on this topic simply because...



Ryan is my friend



AND



I want to help him as a friend.



The million dollar question. Why do we dislike Ryan so much?



-Character issues. Ryan has a weird character if you ask me. If you treat him nicer, he will turn nasty and if you don't treat him nice, he will still be nasty. I do not know is going on in his mind but that is his character. Instead of despising it, what we can do is to accept it. Instead of isolating him be'cose of his character issues, as teammates and friends, what we can do is to help him deal with his character problem instead...



-Attitude. His attitude towards people is also very unusual. He often offend people due to his weird character issues, causing them to not like him so much. Due to this problem, his attitude towards people is geared more towards protecting himself from people's attacks and not towards making friends and being closer, fearing that he might be the one getting hurt in the end.

He have already became a target for easy suan-ing due to his size. Given the impression that small is easy to bully. His attitude is just a form of self-defence for himself, defense against comments and 'suans' from people. Thus, a don't-mess-with-me and I-will-whack-you-if-you-offend-me attitude is born.



-Way of expressing his feelings through the wrong way. More often than not, he will do the wrong thing at the wrong time, talk without thinking and least care about others feelings when he speaks.

He do what he thinks in right without considering other people's opinions or feelings and often hurt people in a way or another. He often do the wrong thing at the wrong time without knowing where is the limits or whether the person actually like it or not... This often cause him to hurt people indirectly or cause people to dislike him.



So how do we be nicer to Ryan?

- As I always say, instead of treating a person badly be'cose he treats you badly, we should treat a person nicely if he treats you badly. This will make him guilty and make him embarrassed instead. He will then treat you nicer. Cose



"Only by being happy, then will you be able to bring joy to others... "



Be nice to others, others will also be nicer to you. This applies for both Ryan and the others. Start treating each other better and forget about the past. Running away from the problem shouldn't help, avoiding and ignoring Ryan is not solving the problem.

Instead, what you can do is to deal with, find out the problem between you and Ryan and try to work towards solving it.

If Ryan did something wrong, then tell him in the face and hope that he takes it positively. Giving him attitude and ignorance will only worsen the relationship.

If you do not like him to do something or do not like the way he acts, tell him why you do not like it and ask him to stop it. I'm sure he will amend it, in exchange for having a great friend like you!


-Help him as a friend by correcting his behaviour and attitude towards people.



Although Ryan may seem unfriendly and irritating, have a weird temper at times, deep down under he is actually a very nice person. It is just that he doesn't know how to express his concern for you in the right way. He is actually trying to be very nice to us just that you all don't see it.

The way he communicate is wrong that's all. Try to understand why he do certain things, put yourself in his shoes. Maybe you will understand...



Deep down in my heart, I believe all of us should treat Ryan nicer instead of isolating him from us. Let him be part of us. The sad truth is that, due to his character issues, he doesn't have that much friends already and if we were to keep our distance from him, he will have very little friends left. Let us help him as friends or as teammates =)

" A good friend will forgive, and will never forget. Never forgetting his duty to help his fellow mates when they are in need..."