Never been so sad...

I have been through quite a lot of things over this week; it was so bad that I even thought about running away from home and even committing suicide. Not that I’m trying to exaggerate, its all true. Let me tell you what ran through my mind when I thought about running away from home.

I believe at that point in time, I was thinking that if I leave this place, I probably could find a low income job and live with it. I could earn my own money and will no longer need to beg from my dad for money. I will be free, I don’t have to study anymore, I may even have a chance to train my dota skill so well that I can be a professional dota gamer and make big bucks. That was what was in my mind then… But when I look at my plan again, it all seemed impossible, unrealistic. With a PSLE certificate, how is it possible to find a job at 15? And where do I get the money to play dota, where can I live?

When I thought about suicide, I was thinking if life is so tough and painful and it will be worse in the future when I enter the society, why bother staying in this world, if my parents don’t care about me, when I die, I can make them live in regret for the rest of their life! But when I thought about it again the next day, is it really worth dying just to spite my parents? We will always encounter problems in life, running away from them do not solve the problem at all, that was what I told myself…

Although I most of the time LOOK happy, deep down under I’m not. But I always try to be happy, cose

Only by being happy, then will you be able to bring joy to others...

Reasons to be sad:
1) Dota gone…

2) Even though my parents took my keyboard away (Causing me to be unable to play anymore), they are still lecturing me and even suspecting me of playing… Eh, no keyboard and mouse play what…

3) Got into 1 of the lousiest class in the level, how did I get there when my level position is 100+/300+…

4) Class with pretty bad influence, gonna be a bad boy soon…

5) Getting $ for books, guide books and stuff for school usual end up in an 1 hour argument. WTH, not like I’m taking money to go out and play, I’m taking $ to buy books!

6) Mum always suspecting me for no reason, take $ buy books say I cheating their $..

7) Had to pay the $40 for the league myself, totally broke…

8) PB being stricter and stricter…

I know my life seriously suck now but I know it will all be over soon ( At least that is what I tell myself…) There is 1 way to overcome all of this cose this is all in the MIND~

All of my worries are caused by my mind… I just have to view things from a different perspective, then my life will be without worries… It always will, and I believe it will happen again this time… I hope.