Back~

Wow.

That's the only word I can think of now. I was still dreaming and suddenly, BANG! EOY is over... One year just past like this and I have barely tasted Sec 3 life. Maybe it was too packed, or maybe I didn't make enough effort to make it a memorable one. But there is still some moments in Sec 3 that I will never forget... The dance we did on teacher's day, Combined Schools experience (even though it was not really very pleasant), me and Nigel in class (epic lame-ness), the fun outings we had (movies, and the recent WWW and kbox). Not much indeed, but I still have 2 months and slightly more to make up for the lost time.

Time really files past our lives doesn't it? One moment and it is all over, too late to regret for anything. Exams really ended very quickly to my delight but that only means that O levels are just next year. Sec 4 life will definitely not be pleasant, mug day and night... Not the kind of teenage hood I would want, but "fighting for a future worth fighting for..."

I pretty sure this holiday will be over before we know it. But this time I'm ready to make the best outta it. Spent my whole weekend playing psp and what did I get? Nothing. Really, electronic devices/computer games and freaking time consuming and meaningless. The time spent can be better used to do more meaningful stuff, yea?

There is so many things I want to do this holiday, can't let it slip out of my hands again. Next year there will be no breaks or holiday to play, the school will definitely make us study. So this is really the last chance we can enjoy our holiday...

Still remember trying to sing korean song at kbox... Major fail, but it made me realise something, we can never try to be somebody we are not. I listen to k-pop everyday and when it came to singing it, I couldn't sing it out. It wasn't my language and I couldn't sing Lucifer even though I hear the song for more than 50 times... But when it came to the chinese songs, it was pretty easy even though I barely hear that song.

When I go to the food court, I get korean cusine, listen k-pop, watch snsd, try to spend in korean but the truth is that I will never be korean. I will still be chinese, forever. That is me, no need for me to pretend to be somebody I never was. To be truthful, I'm proud to be a chinese, a singaporean. I mean 'Korean Wave' is spreading throughout Asia and the world, as teenagers we would most probably be more or less affected by it. But what is so good about being korean? They are short by nature, plastic, can't speak english, age very quickly when they are old (according to Nigel's theory), have a communist neighbour, try to speak english when they can't.

Okay, the girls and guys are pretty good looking but so? No big deal. I am who I am, not trying to change into somebody I'm not, but just simply SNSD crazy. lol.

Story, still working on it. Discussing the plot with Wilson but got the outline out. Should be able to produce the first chapter by friday night?

Already lost count who is reading my blog and who is not. Can't really be bothered anw, I'm starting to get more and more optimistic as I continue. Want to read then read, don't want to read then forget it. None of my business anyway. Maybe I will just close down this blog oneday and nobody will notice it either. ( Okay, I'm apparently grumbling that nobody is tagging so...)


Caption for the story:

A true test of friendship, trust and the power of unity.

2MOROW's Plan

We will meet at 10.30 At Pasir Ris Mrt.

Will sing at kbox from 11am to 2pm.

Then we shall proceed to meeting Crenshawn at www at 2.10pm.

enjoy www from 2.20 to 6.20. Yes! 4 hours is just enough.

Then have dinner from 6.40 to 7 plus then go home. Those that want can go Jarryl's house play bball.

Kbox: Lunch and 3 hours of singing cost 9+ per person

WWW: Entrance fee 15+....

Bring enough $/ swimming trunks/clothes/pants for going underwater...

We shall have fun!

Update

This gonna be short, I need to study...

Firstly, wednesday IS marking day but dunno whether there will be day off for us... If it is half-day, everything goes as planned... If it's a full day, then we have to think of something else...

Secondly, I'm going to write a short story, if you would like to be part of it, pls tag in the cbox '!!!'. It will be an interesting story I promise, exciting and engaging. I will stop adding new characters in after I start writing the story =) You wouldn't want to miss out being a main character in this story!

Ok, last 3 hours of mugging before I close my books permamently... Gonna chiong! Last lap already! Bye~

On wednesday

Meeting time: 11.30am at J8 Mac for Lunch

Wild Wild Wet: From 1pm to 6pm...

Dinner: 6 - 7pm

K-box/Karaoke: 7pm to 9pm

After 9: Go home together...

That is the plan on wednesday=) Since this wednesday is our school's marking day, there should be very little people at WWW=) So we can spam rides!!!

Remember to bring your swimming trunks and a pants which you plan to wear in water, cose you wouldn't want to walk around in your swimming trunks when everybody else is wearing pants=)

Ticket is $15.50. $10.50 if there is an NTUC union member BUT the member himself must be there to be entitled the discounted rate... Unless we ask our parents go la... and one NTUC member can have another 4 guest which will pay $10.50 as well... So IF ONE of our parents go with his or her NTUC card... We can save money la! Then we split the total cost over total ppl going, and it will be cheaper=)

And remember to bring clothes/towel/bathing accessories/money!/and whatever you need, don't need me tell you la... big boy already...

K-box I'm not sure how much but since there is so many ppl going, should not be too expensive...

Estimated cost for entire day(including meals): $30

Must come ar! See you guys at 11.30am at J8's mac!

Flash

Time really flash past our lives doesn't it? Was still getting stressed over exams a week before and 'flash', it's down to 2 papers.

Time really files, faster than we can imagine. We always thought that there is still time ahead, but before we realise it, it's over...

We only have less than 3 months before the start of next year to do whatever we want to do as a team, this is our last year... At this period last year, was feeling sad for the Sec 4s when we realised that they only had a few months left with us... now it's our turn. Time really flash past our lives, doesn't it?

There is so much I want to do with you guys... And I'm pretty sure we are drifting apart. We don't hang out after training like we did in the past, go for dinner after training. We have our own lives to lead, drifting further and further...

Our last 3 months together. 3 months... Seems pretty long to do whatever we want to do, and short even to flash past our lives...

I SWEAR if there were to be a floorball outing, I will go at all cost!!! I really don't want to regret not spending my last few months as a floorballer with the floorballers. If anybody was to ask me something about my secondary school life, I would definitely remember floorball, and most important of course, is the clique...

So here is a list of things I want to do after exams:

1) Go WWW with the clique!
2) Stay-over at Eugene's house
3) Go lan! All the people that used to play dota play together again! X8lr~ haha
4) Go SENTOSA with the clique. I don't know if any of you still remember this but we promised to go to Sentosa together... If any of you still remembers that of course, I do...
5) Have a super fun floorball camp. This one I can assure you I will do my best!
6) Play basketball with the clique and rewatch hot shot!
7) Do EVERYTHING With the clique...

I REALLY REALLY miss the old days when we spend half our day hanging out together, doing nothing much in particular but still had a lot of fun. Maybe sec 3 life is too busy till we can't spend time together... Hope that is the case than we shall be like before after EOY... can't wait...

TO everybody in the CLIQUE! I'm officially organising a 1 day ('remiscising' the past), on marking day. As for the events, I will let you know on the day itself=) More details after comfirmation=)

If you view yourself as a floorballer, and belong to the clique. PLS, don't disappoint me by not turning up. Regardless of whatever you got on that day, if you cherish this friendship we share, pls turn up.

I invited the clique to have breakfast and lunch before training recently but twice I was disapointed... Nobody came for the lunch and only jie ying came for breakfast. This wasn't how it was like in the past. In the past, the whole clique will come and we will have so much fun... But now? I eat alone...

Joshua and Eugene mentioned on their blogs that they miss the past where we used to be so close. I still believe we are but for now, we are too involved in our own lives. So pls turn up on wednesday morning, 8 am at J8 Mac. PLS don't let me down and let everybody down... This will be the first time we are going out after a long break. This really means a lot!

We will basically do whatever we used to do=) That is what we are doing for the whole day, more or less!

Nites...

Final Push

I know everybody is writing about stuff related to this. What 'last try' ah, 'give it all out', 'I live or I die', blablabla... I mean isn't it typical to write this kind of posts right before exams? Nothing wrong with it but really, when they were writing, did they really meant what they wrote?

For me, this is really the first time I'm getting serious about my studies... Really, I swear ever since I came into CHS I never once got serious about any exams... I always thought that studying was lifeless and just had to get over with it. I played played played. Even before the Sec 2 EOY, I even went to lan... The weekend right before the whole week of exams... Zai right? This year was worst, I didn't even complete the WS-es teacher's gave and hardly touch the revision practise papers that were given before exams, less say touch my TYS-es.

I just try to get over with everything, 'don't fail can already' that was my mindset. My results? Deteriorating... I couldn't study cose I didn't have the motivation to work... I kept creating 'imaginary' motivation for myself, until the point I think so much that I had a near mental breakdown, which was the period around August, where I got hysterical. It was Eugene that helped me get past the period, doing something more than he had to, taking the extra effort. Really apreciated even though I need not return back anymore...

Okay back to topic, 'imaginary' motivation. Yes, these 'imaginary' motivation was totally unable to motivate me at all. I felt aimless, nothing to work for until this monday.

"You study for nothing but yourself". The phrasing may not be exact but the meaning is there. A quote by my primary school teacher. It really brought me back to my primary school days and reminded me of my ability as a student. The missing 'motivation' that I was lacking, I found it back. Ty for reminding me, *mum*=)

Indeed, I study for nothing but myself. For my future, for myself, nobody else. Judging from my results, I'm failing my parents, my primary school teacher and most importantly, myself... It's really time for me to grow up... To study for myself=) My future lies in my hands... I'm not fighting against retaining or anything so I can really go into the exam hall this time with not stress, but just to prove to myself that I'm capable of much more. Improvement, that is my aim for EOY. No need for a jump to A1 for all subjects, but at least a grade better for all subjects.

This is really last minute but it is better than nothing, better than not studying at all, like I did in the past. It's gonna be a bit rush but I will try my best to salvage the situation.

" It is only when you realise you want to score well, that you actually had a lot things you can do to excel." I finally understand the theory of 'consistency'... Should have worked harder in the past...

Chapters to go: 56, 36 excluding A math and Bio.

Chapters completed: 26.

26 chapters in like 3 nights? Not impossible since I still got the weekends to do my 'final push'...

Actually studying ain't that difficult. If you force yourself to study for like 15 minutes or so, you will actually feel like studying. Just don't get distracted, or you will regret wasting precious time...

******

Fighting for our own beliefs
Believing in what we are fighting for

Fighting for our future
A future worth fighting for

Embrace the joy when you succeed
as joy embraces you

Results are more than numbers
Numbers that mean more than results

The recognition of your own ability
Having the ability to recognise it

Let this be a final push
OR BE PUSHED OVER...

Stress

I'm not stressed at all... Tell me why?